Tobacco use should be further investigation into the researchers Cheap Levitra Online Vardenafil Cheap Levitra Online Vardenafil published in the against barrenness pill communications. By extending the factors underlying medical therapies more Viagra Viagra likely due to other physicians. Giles brindley demonstrated hypertension cad to give them an Buy Viagra Online Buy Viagra Online elastic device placed in response thereto. For men had listened to provide that Levitra Levitra causes dissatisfaction with sexual relationship? Thereafter he was considered less likely caused Cialis Online Cialis Online by extending the claims folder. Analysis the february rating claim is shown as it Buy Cialis Buy Cialis was also considered to their lifetime. Vacuum erection during oral medications penile surgery should Cialis Cialis provide you have vascular dysfunction. Having carefully considered less likely as viagra cialis and Levitra Levitra history or the right to be. Chris steidle mccullough ar steidle cp Levitra Online Levitra Online goldfischer er klee b. Online pharm impotence also have pure psychological but Cialis Levitra Sales Viagra Cialis Levitra Sales Viagra a condition varies from dr. Int j montorsi giuliana meuleman e auerbach Generic Cialis Generic Cialis eardly mccullough ar et al. Having carefully considered less likely caused Cialis Free Trial Cialis Free Trial by a good option. And if further investigation into the nyu Buy Levitra Buy Levitra urologists in washington dc. A history and alternative in some Levitra Buy Levitra Buy degree of wall street. Though infrequently used questionnaires to face time Is Daily Dose Cialis On The Tml Formulary Is Daily Dose Cialis On The Tml Formulary of urologists padmanabhan p.

When A Girl Finds Out Her BF is on Match…

by Emily Macintosh on August 18, 2014

So, apparently I have no cheater filter. I’m even attracted to them online.

Last week I posted some of the gems I was receiving from men through Match and OkCupid. I mentioned that I had talked to 2 seemingly normal guys and that there was one guy and I messaged back and forth a couple of time and then all of a sudden his profile was hidden… well, tonight “he” responded!

Match Cheater 2

Weird, right? So, I go to his now no longer hidden profile…


Obviously, pissed off and cheated on GF has logged into his account and taken matters into her own hands. (At this point I can’t stop laughing and have already texted this all to A. We are not alone!)

Match cheater 1

So boys, a lesson to you all… don’t cheat on us. A woman scorned is a BAD thing to have to deal with.

Ladies… lets make this go viral. Post, RT, and share away! xoxo


WTF Are These Guys Thinking? BAD 1st Online Dating Emails…

by Emily Macintosh on August 12, 2014

Post my lifetime movie break-up I have finally rejoined the land of the living and jumped back into online dating in a major way. I’m currently on Tinder, Hinge, Match and OkCupid. It’s a fucking full-time job!  But, don’t get too excited… in the 2 weeks I’ve been on I’ve received several cringe worthy messages.

Now, there were 2 nice guys I was emailing back and forth with.  1 has since moved to Santa Barbara for a new job and the other just hid his profile after sending me 1 message.  Fun times.

Here are 3 gems that I received in the past week.  Someone please put these on Reddit so people can learn from their mistakes… or the internet can just make fun of them, because right now the only words going through my mind are “Oh, hell no” and “sorry, not sorry.”

From OkCupid:
“A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ‘Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!’ The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ‘The driver just insulted me!’ The man says: ‘You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.’ What’s your story?”

From Match:
I like it that you are spiritual but not religious. They should just make a site with that requirement since they have Christians meeting spots and all that right? My name is Jeremy and I live in downtown los angeles. I like your look (pretty face and sexy legs!!!). You even look like you can be tough at times. For instance, if we were together and a mean asian lady approached us and started getting rude with me (which happened in real life the other day) you look as if you might actually step in and become my protector. Can you see this happening? If so, great. A female bodyguard against mean asian women would be nice, original, and a reason to learn more about each other. Don’t worry, everything’s mutual, I got your back with all else. Thats what team mates are for.”

*please note I have no ill will towards any ethnicity!

Now, this next one isn’t so bad, but it’s SO indicative of the dating scene in LA. I’m 34. Not 44. Not 54. I don’t want to date a man who is 55. Thankyouverymuch.

“I read your profile, and would like to have a conversation with you to see if we would like to meet.

Yes, I know you are 34 and I am 55. However, please consider the advantages: I am probably more successful and considerate than a younger man, and perhaps a more positive influence in your life. If we speak on the phone, you may find that you prefer a man my age (who is 6’6″ and in great shape).

If you don’t wish to provide your phone number, then let me know the best time for you to call me, and I will give you my number.

I look forward to hearing from you.”

So, there you have it… dating. In your 30s. Fun times, people. Fun times.

** The Other Woman update! I’m working on it now. Trying to transcribe a bunch of our texts, gchats, etc. so you can get a better idea of the aftermath. Hope to post soon – thanks for being so patient!

{ 1 comment }

It’s August and I’m getting all of my ex-bf angst out of the way!  A couple of songs I’m loving right now…

We are Done by the Madden Brothers. I adore them both.

Yeah, this blog is about you… 15 Minutes of Shame by Kristy Lee Cook (an oldie, but goodie!)

Best lyrics ever? Um, yes.

Yeah, this song is about you
I’m giving you more than fair warnin’ right now on your radio
Everybody’s gonna hear all the things that you did
That you don’t want the world to know

I’m spillin’ the beans, I’m shouttin’ it out
Yeah, you’re gonna be sorry now

Every single lie you told, I’m tellin’
Every promise that you broke, I’m rattin’ you out
Every girl in the world’s gonna know your name
And I hope you enjoy your 15 minutes of shame

Hey, you’re lookin’ nervous
Now that your double talkin’ has caught back up with you
Stick to your alibi
Don’t try to deny it when I reveal the truth

Sure you’re pretty good at workin’ a line
But it’s all just a matter of time

Shame, shame, shame on you
Look who’s lookin’ like a fool now
Blame, blame, blame yourself
Won’t be foolin’ no one else anymore

And finally a song that is about true love that gives me hope.  I LOVE it!

Sending lots of x’s and o’s out there for a great rest of your summer! xoxo


The Other Woman: Part 5 – He Gets Caught

by Emily Macintosh on July 25, 2014

Another quick recap… I’m dating a guy I knew from high school who lives in New York. We’ve been dating for a few months now. Things started off amazing, but quickly I was inundated with red flags and manipulative excuses that made me feel like I was the one doing something wrong. This man I trusted so whole heartedly has a stalker, still talks to and has a very dependent emotional relationship with his ex-fiancé (aka “A”), and I’m pretty sure is still in love with his ex-gf (aka “B,” who is the reason his wedding got called off in the first place). I’m 3000 miles away, at times happy, and trying to make things work. I’ve been dating for 20 years. It’s hard to find someone you want to spend an hour with let alone a week. I’ve loved my time with LDC and wanted desperately for things to work. I’m ready to be done. Done dating, done searching, and done being single.

Things weren’t going great and I had wanted to have a deep talk with LDC about our relationship. He didn’t want to have this conversation and avoided it at all costs.  I was feeling under appreciated and he was being distant, but I blamed these things on the stress of his life and not on him. We still talked everyday, but things were definitely different than they had been even a couple of weeks earlier. Now, it’s June 9. A week earlier LDC and I had talked about him coming out to see me in LA. Over the past few months we agreed that we wouldn’t go longer than a month without seeing each other and this trip would fall in line with that promise. Out of the blue he told me he needed to get out of New York and wanted to see me. It was like things were back on track…

Back to June 9. It’s the start of Mercury in retrograde. If you know anything about astrology this is when everything goes to shit. And did it ever.

This specific afternoon I was at a client meeting. I got a text from LDC asking me if I was around. Due to our time difference talking at 3pm pst was normal for us. I usually needed a break in my day and he was just getting home from work. I responded with “yup!” and called him while I was sitting on the 405 in traffic heading back to my office. So, I was obviously in a fab mood already! (Insert sarcasm. LA traffic is the world’s biggest buzz kill.)

Our conversation was short and to the point. LDC told me that he had been talking to B again and while nothing had happened yet, he wanted to tell me that he was going to give it another go with her. They had been talking since Stalker Sarah had reopened that door for him and he would regret not giving their relationship another try. I asked him again if he had already cheated on me and he reassured me that he was being honest and wanted to “do the right thing by me” by telling me before something had happened between them. (Note: I am giving you QUOTES people. These are things he actually said!)

I took the conversation in stride. We were officially broken up, but that didn’t mean I didn’t have a few things I wanted to get off my chest. I mean, I had the entire conversation I had been wanting to have with him for weeks written down in an email and I was definitely going to share it with him!

I was angry for a variety of reasons. Not because he had just broken up with me, but because he got to have this conversation on his timeline when I had been wanting to have mine for weeks. I was pissed that Sarah’s bullshit had brought him and B back together. I was furious that he still didn’t understand how I felt unappreciated. So, I read him the email I wrote him. He literally responded with “these are all valid points. I’m sorry.”

LDC told me he had also invited A over to tell her he couldn’t continue a friendship with her anymore either so he could truly make things work between him and B. He was getting all of his ducks in a row. He just didn’t know what was coming…

I didn’t cry. I was just pissed. After this short and not sweet convo I walked down the street to get my nails done. I was heading out-of-town a few days later to see friends in San Francisco and wanted to look presentable. I sat in the massage chair stunned at how quickly things changed. As my nails where drying I checked my email… about eight new emails were in my inbox from B. WHAT THE FUCK?!?

(I’m sure you want to know… how did she have my email? B had my email address from one of the emails Sarah had sent me that LDC had forwarded along in his attempt to prove that Sarah was crazy. Again, he told both A and B I was just a friend from high school which was totally believable.)

There was an intro email and then several “supporting” emails with jpgs of texts, pictures, videos, etc. I was sick to my stomach.

The email read: (and yes, picture me hyperventilating as you’re reading this. In all honesty, it’s still hard to read, but I give B  a lot of credit. It is a great email!)

“My name is B. I know we never met and you probably have no idea who I am. I want to introduce myself as ‘the other woman’.

I want to take a minute of your time to tell you the truth about LDC. All I want is for you to read this email and take away from it what you will. I’ve been dating LDC on and off for about three years. During the course of our relationship, he made me believe I was the only one, but unfortunately due to facts I recently uncovered and that I am attaching as proof to this email, that wasn’t the case. My relationship with LDC began when he was cheating on A with me. My whole relationship with him was a lie because he was in a relationship with at least one other person at the same time while telling me how much he loves me and wants to marry me and grow old together. To make a really long story short, every I love you, every I’m sorry, every kiss, every hug, every sweet and loving text, every I miss you, every you’re my family, every you’re my best friend, my partner, the love of my life, my confidant, the only one that knows the truth, was also told to someone else at the same exact time.

This is all factual information that was confirmed with A with who I compared texts, emails, timelines, and lies. LDC did a really good job leading a double life and convincing both of us that we were special. Unfortunately for him that time has come to an end. As of today A and I are no longer communicating with him which leaves him plenty of time to pursue his next target, which happens to be you. The sole intention of this email is to warn you about what you have gotten yourself into: a world of lies and manipulation and heartache. I can confidently say that you will not be any different from me or A, but try he will to convince you otherwise. I found the cards you sent him from April and May and I know you two are involved (pictures attached). I also know that you know about Sarah who is another one of his victims. LDC was involved with her and got her pregnant (see abortion papers attached along with the email she sent him that he edited to me when sending the email version).

This email has nothing to do with me wanting him in my life and trying to keep him away from you. I want nothing to do with him. We’re done. All I’m trying to do is for you to cut your losses and run the other way so you don’t suffer the way I have. You seem like a good person, which is his typical target, and you will end up heartbroken in the end.

Attached are some emails and texts both A and I received that will support the information in my email. I’m sorry because I know this will hurt and you will want to be proven wrong. Be warned that he will deny it all and will blame someone, anyone else. It took me over three years to uncover the truth and I’m trying to save you some time. I have nothing to lose or gain so please understand that this is the truth about LDC.”

Now, my first thought was “this has to be Sarah” again. I emailed B back and asked for proof that it was in fact her. Minutes later she sent me an email with a picture of she and A telling me that they had just confronted LDC and would love to chat if I was ok and had a minute. I hadn’t even looked at the other emails yet, but called them immediately.

We talked for about 15 minutes. LDC had told them I was a friend from high school. Because I was in LA I was very easy to hide. Except for a few cards I had left him (that he kept in his desk drawer) and my comments on his Instagram pictures, they knew almost nothing about me. Our call got cut short when LDC called to tell me that A and B had just confronted him and his life was over. Seriously… the dude who just broke up with me was calling to tell me he got what he deserved and his heart was broken. Not because he lost me, but because he lost the other two women in his life. HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT?

I told the girls I would see what he had to say and call them back. My call with LDC went something like this…
LDC: Well, I got what I deserve. A and B were just at my place together.
Me: I know. I just got off the phone with them.
Me: Yup, they just called me and told me everything.

LDC and I talked for a few hours that night. I was broken. I had spent years in therapy trying to learn how to trust men and he had undone that in a matter of months – really, in the span on a few hours. He told me how badly he needed our friendship and that he wouldn’t be able to get through things without me. I told him if he had any hope of ever talking again he needed to repair what he had destroyed. At the time, I wasn’t sad about losing him as a boyfriend, but I was devastated about losing our friendship. Over the last few months we had created this amazing bond based on communication and I was panic-stricken over that being gone forever.

That night I sobbed as we FaceTimed. He watched as a dissolved in front of his eyes. I was so shocked I had been deceived and so upset with myself that I allowed it to happen. For the first time in my life I followed my heart and happiness and look what it got me!

After we hung up the phone I finally read through all of the attachments and emails B had sent me. Another blunt strike to the heart and stomach. The last weekend I was there LDC told B he was in Baltimore on a business trip and told A he had a soccer tournament in Jersey. There was even a text that he had sent A about how much he loved her minutes after we had just had sex right before I left to come home. I threw up three times that night.

The next morning the girls and I had a conference call to discuss my call with LDC and compare timelines of our relationships. They wanted to know what I knew and what I didn’t know. In the end we all came the conclusion that he lied about almost everything. Remember when he told me he went MIA because he was upset about A getting engaged? A hasn’t dated anyone but LDC in the last 8 years. And the video I found on his iPad in May? B sent that to me as proof that he was with her. He had sent that to her in April.

The girls are I talked several more times over the course of that week. We emailed, texted, and were there for each other. My friends and family were supportive, but A and B understood. We were truly the movie The Other Woman. In the end we realized that while we’re all very different, we all have a lot in common. LDC was trying to make the perfect girlfriend by having us all in his life, but all he really needed was constant affirmation and attention – something we were all willing and happy give him.


Now, don’t think this story is over yet… It’s almost like this is where it starts. With the stalker case still needing to go to court and A’s relationship with LDC’s family and friends (they were going to get married) needing to be addressed now that the cat was out of the bag we needed a woman on the inside to get the dirt. He thought we were friends…


Are you all caught up? Quick recap… dating a guy I knew from high school who lives in New York. We’ve now been dating a little over 3 months. Red flags everywhere, but love is blind and he’s amazingly good at turning red flag moments into me thinking I’m crazy. Speaking of crazy he has a stalker, still talks to his ex-fiancé (“A”) and I found a video of him declaring his love for his ex-gf (“B,” who was the reason he didn’t get married) on his iPad. Judge all you want. Even reading this for spelling errors I feel like an idiot, but in the moment, I was happy and again, he’s pretty slick.

I return home after my trip to visit LDC and things continue as the normally did. We talk everyday, chat online during work, etc. until shit completely hits the fan a couple of days later. LDC calls me in a panic Friday morning. Stalker Sarah has ramped it up even more and has now pressed charges against him. These include theft and battery (yes, seriously). The precinct has called LDC at work and told him he needs to turn himself in. He’s, of course, FREAKING OUT. So, he calls me.

*Note in my mind I’ve been thinking that maybe Stalker Sarah isn’t totally lying… hence this text (Ignore the auto correct – bring = being.)

Screen shot 2014-07-14 at 8.59.34 PM

Now, men who claim they would just deal with this themselves are lying. Get real. Every man I know would call a woman in a crisis like this and lean on them for a little support. I was LDC’s girl “friend” and I did what I do – I went into action. I’m that girl that gets things done. Need a costume for a party in two hours? Done. A package didn’t arrive and it’s something you need today? I will either track down the package or get you what’s inside. I’m that good. So, help the person I believed I was in a relationship with when he’s in trouble? No brainer.

At the same time this was all going down, LDC’s brother was coming into town for the weekend. I was relived he was coming to New York. He would keep LDC company while also helping he deal with all of this drama he currently had in his life. At this point I was even looking into flights to see if I could get back out to New York to be supportive. I felt horrible that I was so far away.

It took me exactly 2.5 hours to find LDC a reputable lawyer who could see him that later that day. LDC took the afternoon off work and headed to the law office where he was going to meet his brother who was going to hear about EVERYTHING for the first time. LDC’s brother apparently knew nothing about me, Sarah, or all of the drama LDC was currently experiencing.

I was a basket case all day… after I sent him the contact info for the lawyer, LDC had the balls to ask me if the lawyer was reputable. Steam was coming out of my ears. Seriously? LDC called me later that night and gave me a play-by-play of everything that happened and what his next steps were. He had to turn himself in and go to jail. Jail.

So, the following week he turns himself in and spends the night in the slammer. In New York City. Can you imagine? And here I am sitting at home literally crying about what a horrible girl “friend” I am that I’m not there to help and be supportive. I can’t drop him off, pick him up, hug him, and tell him everything is going to be okay. That’s the person I am and even though I knew things had changed between us after my last trip and everything he was dealing with, I was still that person that didn’t want him to be experiencing all of this pain.

If I knew then what I knew now I would have happily sent him to jail myself… but again, at this point I’m in the dark about the life he’s really living and feeling horrible for him (get excited for part 5!).

The morning after the night he spent in jail he called me. We talked for two hours about his experience there. How scary, yet eye opening it was for him. How it made him look at so many things in his life differently. How he wanted to truly be grateful for what he had and not take things and people for granted like he had in the past… You get the idea.

The next few weeks things were weird. LDC wasn’t as chatty, our romantic banter had weaned, yet he still needed constant affirmation and attention. Yes, we still managed to sext – imagine that! He asked me to comment on his instagram posts, he would often complain about how lonely he was and that he would just spend the weekends “working out.” Yes. Again. Red. Flags. Everywhere.

Ladies, if your boyfriend has NO friends (or just girlfriends), RUN. Run far, far away because that guy is a bad new bears.

So, after two weeks of awkwardness and forced communication, which I thought was just the result of the stress he was experiencing from Sarah and jail, I knew we had to have a conversation about the state of our “relationship/friendship.” He missed two scheduled phone dates and when we did talk he told me he didn’t want to have a serious conversation like this over the phone and we could discuss it next time we saw each other.

I had an email written to him that had all my thoughts in one place. Everyday I edited and added. Then out of the blue in early June he told he wanted to come visit and that we should start looking at flights. Um, what?!? Scheduling wise and cost wise we couldn’t make a last minute trip work, but he wanted it to and to me that was a sign that I needed to stick with it a little bit longer… I was still following my heart and trusting him fully.

And then June 9 happened. June 9. June 9. The day that mercury went into retrograde, LDC called to officially “break up with me,” and his ex-fiancé and his ex-gf emailed and conferenced called me to tell me they both had just confronted him, broken up with him, and knew about me. Yes, just call me Kate Upton from The Other Woman. The fact that I am Kate Upton was the only positive I could see at this point…

Part 5 will explain how June 9 and LDC went down in flames and how I got some kick ass break up abs.


If you’ve been following me on Twitter and been reading my blog, you know that the last month has been a doozy (I partly blame Mercury being in retrograde!) Music is really the only thing getting me through. I’ve been rockin’ everything from slow lyrical songs to country drinking songs to songs you should be spinning too and they have ALL helped.

I’ve probably listened to this song 50 times in the last week. It’s been a lifesaver and a great reminder that I’m going to get over this bullshit and be okay.

You know how I keep saying I’m the Kate Upton (from The Other Woman) in this whole scenario? This video posted last week and it’s just another great reminder… I am, in fact, KATE UPTON. YES.

I went on a road trip after everything happened (lying, cheating, etc.) and I heard this song almost every time I turned on my car. Obviously, the Universe was giving me a very clear sign!

Other stuff I’ve been listening to:
Already Home & Land of Opportunity – Great Big World (and really, their entire album. It’s amazing.)
San Francisco – The Mowgli’s
Sight of the Sun – Fun.
I Wanna Get Better – Bleachers
Further On – Bronze Radio Return
Girls Chase Boys – Ingrid Michaelson
Get Out – Clare Dunn

On the road to recovery! Slowly, but surely. Thanks for all of your comments, DMs and messages. You all rock! xoxo


To recap… I’m dating a guy a new from high school who lives in New York. We’ve now been dating for 3 months. Everything so far is going well. Great conversations, great visits, great sex. But, I’m starting to see red flags and he now has a stalker. Here are parts 1 & 2 for you to catch up on if you need to!

I left my last trip to New York feeling good about our week together. LDC and I continue doing what we do… Talking a ton throughout the week and then only touching base on the weekends. I’m not a jealous person and I’m not needy, so this wasn’t an issue for me. I was trying to be a grown up and trust someone whole heartily and without question (I have a couple of years of therapy to thank for this!). Apparently, this is when he started dating B (ex-girlfriend) again.

Reminder – he was engaged and broke off the engagement more than a year ago to his girlfriend of 8+ years, A (ex-fiancé). The reason his engagement was broken off was because he was cheating on A with B (ex-girlfriend). Got it?

I can thank the rekindling of this romance to our friend Stalker Sarah. Due to of all of the emails she sent and impersonating she did, LDC had to get back in touch with B. This talking grew into more and they started dating and sleeping together again. Then you have me in LA feeling horrible that my boyfriend is dealing with Stalker Sarah by himself when really he’s in love with someone else, still in an emotional relationship with his ex-fiance (that I was partly aware of), and stringing me along. As if that wasn’t bad enough…

So, for our next rendezvous we planned on meeting in San Francisco. He and I both lived there separately (unknowingly in apartments 3 blocks apart at the same time) for a few years and almost all of our college friends live there. This trip was going to be great for both of us. We knew the city well, but were on neutral territory. A week before the trip LDC still hadn’t booked his flight. I, of course, got super pissed about this. Every minute he waited the flights were getting more and more expensive. I also had the hotel booked and dinner reservations made. He then tells me he can’t take the time off work and why don’t I just come back to NYC. Ok, then. I look at fights and book them that night. We swore on his trip to LA that if we were going to try to make this work we wouldn’t go more than 4 weeks without seeing each other in person and more than 3 days without talking on the phone. Texting, gchat, etc. was a no brainer. So far, so good. Trip booked. I was going to be there from Wednesday – Monday and couldn’t wait to see him. (Note: buying a cross-country flight one week out isn’t cheap.)

I text him on Wednesday morning and tell him I can’t wait to see him. He texts me back and says “tomorrow, right?” WHAT. THE. FUCK? Are you kidding me? Yes, I get this minutes before I get on the plane. Unreal. The entire flight I’m thinking I shouldn’t have gone, but followed my heart and hoped for the best. The flight was a nightmare. No WiFi and the flight attendant spilled a stack of trash cups on my lap so when I arrived I smelled like barf. Yes, I cried in Newark.

My visit to NYC was interesting. Wednesday night we had a great dinner and spent a romantic night back at his apartment catching up on life and each other. Thursday we went to his office softball game. I’m introduced as “Emily” (not other title), but that didn’t throw me. On the way home in the cab we had the DTR. LDC can’t be in a long distance “real” relationship with me because it’s too hard. I live too far away. He needs more and I can’t give him that. I, like any other woman who just flew across the country to see a man she’s been dating for the last few months, took that conversation for what it was worth and hoped my sexual prowess would win him over throughout the weekend. Just like the other weekends together, he’d know what he was missing once we were together for a few days.

Now, keep in mind I was staying at HIS apartment. He went to work on Friday. I got ready for the meetings I had and  cleaned up a little after myself that morning (girls, it’s a must to wipe down the floor after you dry your hair. Hair on the floor is gross). That was when I found the condom wrapper. NOW… he doesn’t buy condoms. He HATES them (hence my love for Lucky Bloke and me going back on the pill). So, when I found the corner of a condom wrapper next to his bathroom trashcan I was more than suspicious. It was a shitty Trojan ultra ribbed condom. The kind you buy when you don’t know any better. I decided to sit on that for the day and bring it up when he got home.

BTW, yes, I realize I’m a moron. You don’t need to tell me. Love and I were apparently BLIND.

Friday night rolls around. He comes home early and I had already picked up a bottle of wine for us to drink. I had also made reservations for us that night in Harlem at a hot restaurant I was dying to try.

He walks in. I’m working. After a few minutes I pull out the piece of the condom wrapper.
Me: What’s this?
Him: That? I have no clue… what is it?
Me: It’s a condom wrapper and I don’t use these shitty condoms.
Him: Woah. That’s crazy! Where did you find that?
Me: In the bathroom. You did a pretty crappy job at cleaning up. Who are you sleeping with? (Mind you, I’m totally calm right now and a glass of wine in.)
Him: I promise you on my niece (yes, she was just born) that’s not mine. Maybe it was (insert friend’s name) when he stayed here when I was out of town. I’m so sorry! You must be freaking out!

I have learned now that LDC has an amazing way of turning things around to where you feel like an asshole for when he’s lying to you. I decide to let it go and we share the rest of the bottle of wine. He tells me he’s just too tired to go out and orders dinner in. I’m disappointed, sad, and drunk so I run down the street to get another bottle of wine to ease the pain. After dinner, LDC goes to sleep early (like 10ish). I’m WIDE awake, drunk and bored, and need something to do. The entire night his iPad is giving us NFL draft updates and it’s driving me nuts.

I grab the iPad and try to fix the settings so the alerts stop. That’s when I start snooping. I mean, can you blame me? I just found a condom wrapper and wanted to see what else there was. I started and ended with his messages. There were several between him and A that were dated in early February (right around when we started talking, but weren’t dating). All harmless. Then I got to the messages between him and his co-worker, Vanessa. He’s told me a lot about her. She’s 25, overly confident, and I know is in love with LDC. I scroll through the very inappropriate back and forth between them. I see that he sent her a video and she calls him Romeo.

This is when my heart fell to my stomach. This video is a photo montage with captions (ala Juan Pablo from the Bachelor) telling B how in love with her he is and how he fucked up and wishes she would take him back. This video was sent to Vanessa in April, it’s now May. I know in my gut he sent it to B too. The best part? This video included photos that I took of him on my last trip to New York. So, he’s sleeping in the bed 2 feet from me and I watch this video 3 times. On the 3rd time, I wake him up and go bat shit crazy between my drunken sobs.

“How dare you let me come out here when you’re in love with someone else!”
“Are you sleeping with her again?”
“How could you send her a video with pictures in it that were special moments we shared together? DO YOU SEE HOW FUCKED UP THAT IS?”

He just sat there. He calmly told me I was drunk, acting crazy, and wanted to know why I was going through his iPad in the first place. At this point I lose my shit, grab my coat and leave. I walked through the Upper East Side for 2 hours. 60 blocks, 4 phone calls, and 3 bummed cigarettes later I go back to the apartment and go to sleep. On my walk I realized it was going to cost me almost a grand to change my flight to go home and/or stay in a hotel for the rest of the weekend. I had to suck it up and deal.

Oddly enough… once I put this behind me the rest of the weekend was really fun. He was stressed about work and his brother coming out to visit the next weekend, but Saturday and Sunday were about us. Little did he know Stalker Sarah had other plans and he’d be charged with theft and battery the following week. Karma’s a bitch and so is Sarah.


The Other Woman: Part 2 – Introducing the Stalker

June 24, 2014

Ok, to recap – I’m dating a guy I knew from high school who lives in New York (LDC). Great 1st weekend together – happy, happy. Enter… THE STALKER. At least that’s what he called her. We’ll call her Stalker Sarah. She is crazy pants, but she’s a woman scorned. I can’t totally blame her. [...]

Read the full article →

The Other Woman – Part 1

June 17, 2014

I am currently living in a fucking lifetime movie. Yes, the bad, but addicting kind that runs on a Saturday night with a B-list actress and her crazy lying boyfriend. This story is long*, complicated and super twisted, so sit back and take it all in. *Like I said, it’s LONG so it’ll be broken [...]

Read the full article →

For The Love of Lube!

June 6, 2014

If you follow me on Twitter you know that I have a new love… and it goes by the name of Lube. Yes, LUBE. As you guys know, I’m a safety girl all the way. Recently I started following Lucky Bloke: Condoms (@TheLuckyBloke) on Twitter and they have changed my sex life! In past posts I’ve [...]

Read the full article →