It’s been a year…

by Emily Macintosh on July 15, 2017

It’s been a year since I posted… Almost to the day. For some reason summers make me want to write. What have I been up to in the last year? LOTS and 98% doesn’t include dating or sex (which might sound depressing but, let me explain).

Late last year the stress of my job was taking a toll on my life. (I have a pretty high profile, intense job.) I started 2016 with an amazing trip in Southeast Asia and then my work took my around the world. From January to November I had logged more than 75,000 miles in the air. I had visited Cape Town, London, Cannes, New York, Shanghai, and had been all through Thailand and Vietnam. Most of these trips were about a week long and work related. So, before you say I’m complaining because I got to travel on someone else’s dime, you’re right, I have nothing to complain about. But, I was working 70 hours a week and didn’t have much time for seeing all these amazing places I was visiting. I did, however, get to stay in beautiful hotels and eat some amazing food and wouldn’t have traded these experiences for anything.

Like all things in life, when you burn the candle at both ends, you’re going to get burned. This new life I was living just wasn’t sustainable and my health started to take a toll. In the summer of 2016, I was doing all of my yearly check-ups… I went to the dermatologist and there were a few things she wanted to have biopsied. About a week later, I got the results and I had a little spot of melanoma on my leg that I needed to have removed immediately (1 surgery, 18 stitches and a big ol’ hole in my leg later, it’s thankfully gone). That same week I went in for a routine pap smear and was told that I had cervical cancer cells from HPV. Ready for this? I have only had sex with one other person since LDC (I was still traumatized), so LDC truly was the gift that kept on giving. Just in the last month (June 2017) did I finally get a clear bill of health. Oh, and on top of this, the stress I was under was causing me to have migraines where I would lose my motor skills (couldn’t walk or talk).  So, dating was not really on my priority list. BUT, I was killing it at work while it was slowly killing me.

In January 2o17, I knew I had to make some major changes in my life. I got another job (dream job with a huge team!), set some serious boundaries for my personal and work life and decided that this was the year I was going to invest in my health and wellness. And that’s what I have done. I see a trainer twice a week, I leave work at 5:30pm, I have an expensive, grown up nighttime skincare regime and I’ve been looking to buy a house. This new job still has me traveling the world (Sydney, France, Amsterdam and lots of New York already this year), but I’m happy in a way that I haven’t been in a long time.

I’m seeing plays, going to new, trendy restaurants, getting floor tickets to concerts, going on spontaneous road trips, and living the best life I can. I have the freedom to do whatever I want without having to ask for permission or having the responsibility to take care of anyone else. I only need to worry about me and that’s what I’m doing.  Do I wish I had a companion to share these life experiences with? Or someone to make me pancakes and have sex with on Saturday morning? Of course, but I look back on this year and have never been happier. I’m completely content with the woman I’ve become and excited to see where this newfound happiness will take me.

So, that’s the latest! I miss writing and miss all of you, so I plan to be here a little more often. Not sure I’ll always focus on dating, since that’s not really the focus on my life these days, but I do always have fun stories and something to talk about. I promise there is more to come. I have one post about a recent online dating exchange that I’m working on now that will crack you all up.

P.S. If anyone tells me “Now, that you’re not looking he will walk right into your life!” I will cut a bitch. lol! xoxo



A Little Update…

by Emily Macintosh on July 13, 2015

As most of you have noticed, I haven’t blogged in some time.  There are a few reasons for that…

1. I’ve had my own company for 7 years. These years were some of the best and worst years of my life. Starting a company in a recession wasn’t easy. My business plan consisted of “don’t get kicked out of your apartment. You’re too old to live with your mom.” Thankfully, my business was successful and every year I grew professionally and personally. At the beginning of 2015 a job offer landed in my lap that was too good to pass up. I now have a dream job that I know will and has already started to change every aspect of my life. From traveling the globe, to the people I will meet and the new things I will get to experience, the sky’s the limit. The other thing… while I loved being my own boss, the stress of owning your own company is hard. Now, having a team of creative people around me all the time I’m energized, excited and challenged to be a better me. This new job means new hours… I’m a different busy than I used to be!

2. Dating is HARD. Living in a real life “there’s always something better out there” is taking its toll on me emotionally. Back in the day when you found someone who was great, you didn’t have the chance to flip through several apps to see what else was out there. So, right now you might be dating someone who is pretty ok, but log into Tinder to see a hot guy that you just matched with. In that instant you wonder… is this hot guy as good as he seems on paper? Then you’re questioning the pretty good relationship you’re currently in. It’s exhausting!

People (friends, therapists, strangers) have been telling me for a while that this blog might be sending the wrong message out into the universe. Well, I don’t want that! Am I attracting crazies and bad dates just so I have something to write about? Maybe. (BW, I’m talking to you!)

3. The blogging world is bizarre. When I started this blog it was supposed to be a creative outlet where I could share my thoughts and stories about my crazy dating life. A place where I could commiserate with other online daters out there and know that I wasn’t alone. Now it feels more like something I have to do, not necessarily want to do. This is the reason I have never added advertising to my site or taken payment for a post. I have always wanted this to be something that represented me, not companies paying me to write something. The very few posts I have about brands or experiences are things I genuinely like and want to share with the world. Now, I’m getting pitched new things daily and being asked my unique visitors and page views… ewww. I don’t want to be in “that” blogging world. I want to be in the one where I can share my point of view and have a discussion. From the beginning I wanted to share my dating stories so I and other people like me knew that we weren’t the only ones in this crazy online dating world. For that, I’ll be forever grateful. The friends I have made thru this blog and social media (mainly Twitter) have become a very important part of my life.

4. People can be assholes. While I don’t expect everyone to like me or what I have to say, this is MY blog. It’s MY opinion and these are MY stories. Just the other day someone commented on my oh so controversial “Married Men on Tinder” post and called me a judgmental bitch. While I appreciate this obviously, super nice guy for reading, there have been a few of these assholes who don’t understand what my blog is all about. I don’t take these comments too seriously, but they are definitely frustrating.

So, while I’m not completely “closing up shop” I’m also not going to make a huge effort to post. I will continue to be active on Twitter (@Mylifeonmatch), but don’t expect me to post here too often. If something life shattering happens (like I get engaged or run into another sociopathic boyfriend) I’ll definitely update. So, I would reco you subscribe on the sidebar so you can see immediately when I post something new.

A few updates for you in the meantime…
1. I’m still friends with A & B. I’ve been to NY a few times over the last few months and we’ve had dinner each time I’ve been in town. They are amazing women and I hope they both find exactly what they’re looking for. None of us have been in touch with LDC, but I’d still like to ruin his life while protecting future women (and maybe men?) from his insanity. If you have any ideas, let me know!

2. I haven’t been on any fun dates lately. I’m currently dating a little thing called WORK. I love my new job and know that once I get in a good place dating will become a little easier.

3. I’m still not planning on freezing my eggs, highly recommend mirena to everyone (I got it last year and think it’s the best BC in the world) and still LOVE The Lucky Bloke and all of their amazing offerings.

4. I’m currently watching and tweeting about The Bachelorette. Kaitlyn is so annoying, but I have to give the girl credit for getting down and playing by her own rules. I will be tweeting about Bachelor in Paradise too because that show is like a train wreck I can’t look away from. And are any of you watching UnReal? HOLY SHIT!

5. For all of you that love the soundtrack to my life, below is my current playlist. If you happen to get a glance of me while I’m signing Fight Song at the top of my lungs in my car, LUCKY YOU.

Bright – Echosmith
Nothing Without Love – Nate Ruess
Dear Future Husband – Meghan Trainor
Photograph – Ed Sheerna
Renegades – X Ambassadors
Loving You Easy – Zac Brown Band
Love Me Like You Mean It – Kelsea Ballerini
My Mistake – Cam
Halleljuah – Panic at the Disco
Ceclilia & The Satellite – Andrew McMahon in The Wilderness
Never Gonna Let You Down – Colbie Caillat
Rule the World – Walk Off The Earth
Crave – Parachute
Hideaway – Daya
I’m Good – Mowgli’s

So, there you have it. My update. Lemme know what you think and thank you for all of your support, your comments, your feedback and your unconditional love (even those who have been judgey assholes). I appreciate all of you more than I can say. See you on Twitter and maybe here again… we’ll see what happens. xoxo


Is Love In My Cards?

by Emily Macintosh on March 12, 2015

Unfortunately, the answer seems to be “not right now.” But, there are a lot of amazing things coming my way!

My love life has been on the rocks the last year so I thought it might be a good idea to see if the stars/cards had anything to say about it. Note: I love astrology (get better soon Susan Miller!) and have had several psychic readings. With that being said, I do not sign important documents during retrograde, but I also take everything with a grain of salt. We have this little thing in life called FREE WILL that changes the course of life every minute of every day.

A couple of weeks ago I set up a call with Psychic Source. (I usually see my psychic in Santa Monica, but after she told me LDC was the one I stopped seeing her.) I was a little skeptical of a call-in psychic service, but my experience with Psychic Source was pretty amazing. There was a little emailing back and forth and then I was sent a call-in number for the time that worked for me. At $1 a minute it was much more affordable and easier than seeing someone in person!

I was connected with Seanna. I really liked her from the start. Super easy to talk to and wasn’t fishing for info to lead her in a specific direction. I put my house phone on speakerphone and then recorded the session on the voice memos app on my iPhone.

Seanna started with astrology (so know the exact time and where you were born) and then moved onto tarot cards. Here’s what she had to say about my future (again, this was a few weeks ago):

– Now is the peak time in your life for work. In November the door opened for a new client/opportunity and this will change my life.
– Mid-March will be a challenge time with business partners. There is one client/business relationship that I’ve had for 3 years that I need to let go of now. They are bad for me and will affect future business relationships.
– This work change will be intense and emotional, but now is the time to do it.
– This new opportunity will either have me living in 2 cities or traveling a ton.

– My 5th house of short-term romance is EMPTY.
– Nothing is looking all that promising in my long-term romance chart either until August at the earliest.
– I came off of a horrible relationship last year and I still haven’t recovered from it. Take the time I need to fully be ready to love again. Letting go of this is easier than I am making it.
– Once late summer comes around there will be a businessman who will be a whirlwind romance. Very fast, very furious, but we will have lots of separations that will delay things (most likely one of us traveling). He will have an ex-wife and child. He has a strong D name. (So obviously I’m swiping right to all Daniels, Davids, and Darrens out there.)
– Kids aren’t looking like they are in my future, but if I’m fully committed to having them I need to make it work with focused intention. Having children is not something I can leave to chance. If I do I will get pregnant when I don’t want to be.

A fun fact for us all! March 20 the solar eclipse and super moon is coming! This is a great time to recharge our intentions. An easy way to do this is to get out a blank piece of paper and write down everything you want in life as if you already have it. NOTHING NEGATIVE.

After my reading I asked Seanna if it was okay to ask her a few questions about what it’s like to do psychic readings via chat or a call-in line. She said as a psychic she gets mostly love related questions and people looking to her for guidance in relationships. The number one question she gets is “Does he love me?” Her response? “If you have to ask then probably not!”

You have to be open when working with a psychic. They are not there to do the work for you. Seanna feels it’s her job to give people the tools to be open to a relationship, help them let go of their past issues and be realistic about what is coming. Again, we can change the future if we choose to. Manifestation and intentions are strong when done right!

Seanna said for every call she gets from a guy, she gets another 40 from women. Obviously, right?

She also said that she loves working with the LGBT community, especially those who have recently come out to themselves, friends and loved ones. They are in their truth and ready and open for a reading and then MUCH easier to read!

Her top tips…
1. Don’t ask if your significant other is cheating. Again, if you think they are, they probably are.
2. Don’t ask for lottery numbers or how you’re going to get more money. If psychics could see lottery numbers they would all be rich. And when it comes to money Seanna believes we all need to work for it. (Now you can see why I liked her so much.)
3. Deep down everyone has some psychic ability. Trust your instincts and don’t doubt your intuition. Slow down and listen to your heart.

Want to start the Spring off right? Give Seanna or another psychic at Psychic Source a try. You’ve got nothing to lose. And if your name is Daniel, David, Dean, Darren, and all other strong D names you know where to find me!


March Soundtrack! Only One and FourFiveSeconds

by Emily Macintosh on March 5, 2015

Ok, so I’m torn… I can’t stand Kanye, but I also can’t deny that every time one of his new songs come on I perk up, turn the radio up and sing along. And, who doesn’t love Gold Digger? So, this month I bring you songs I love from someone I don’t. It happens. I do however love Paul McCartney and Rhianna, so there’s that!

Btw, can someone please tell me what that woman is yelling about when Kanye is singing??

Happy March people! For those of you anywhere but LA I hope Spring is coming soon!


Online dating blows. Lets be real, we’re all looking for love in all the wrong places. Enter LA’s Second City sketch called Undateable and you’ll realize there really is someone for everyone.


Recently a fellow online dating girlfriend and I went to check this show out. What a night!

It went a little something like this:

7pm – Get cute, pick up friend and explain the premise of the show to her on the way there. Every Friday night at 9pm for the last year Second City has been performing their show, Undateable. 38 “Undateable” profiles were placed on OkCupid. The show equals months of research of REAL people talking to FAKE characters. No, it’s not a catfish kinda thing… they have rules (image below). It’s a scientific experiment about the online search for love. Cast: Chris Alvarado, Rob Belushi, Amanda Blake Davis, Kate Duffy, Bob Ladewig, Robyn Norris. MD, Dan Wessels. Director, Frank Caeti. For $12 per ticket it’s a steal.


8:15pm – Get to Hollywood (it’s only 10 miles away). Gotta love LA traffic! Head to the box office where they tell us to come back closer to show time (9pm).

8:20pm – We head across to the street to a little Mexican place and scarf down a basket of chips and shotgun a margarita.

8:45pm – Head back over to Second City where there are now 20 people ahead of us waiting in the lounge and hallway. This was one of my only three gripes of the night (btw, these are super small things!). Movie theaters do it… just give us seat numbers on a first come first serve basis.

9:10 pm – We are finally allowed to enter the theater, but the “good” kids who waited in the lounge like they were told get to go in first. We then head into the theater (yes, I was a bad kid who waited in the hall since the seating in the lounge was limited) where there are a bunch of reserved seats in the middle rows. This is the second gripe of the night… Note, there really is NO bad seat in this theater. It is tiny. But, the fact that they had these seats reserved (no one sat in them!) was super annoying because it left a single next to couples meaning people had to split up. I can honestly say, this is not a show where you want to sit without your friends and hence, look undateable. (I asked on the way out what was up with the reserved seats. The clueless, but sweet interns running the box office told me they were for industry people. Um, isn’t that everyone in LA?)

9:15pm – Show starts. Within 5 minutes my friend and I are in full on hysterics. If you’ve ever online dated… and I mean really online dated, not just put your picture up to see if you get any bites, but actually had conversations with people, this will hit home fast. The 38 undateable profiles they created are hilarious. You can view some of them here ( The girl who is obsessed with cats (meow, meow, purrrr) and the guy who wants to get married now… like yesterday.

Screen shot 2015-02-18 at 3.48.49 PM

Throughout the show, we learn a little about online dating culture (which you all know I know too well!) and see the real life reactions to these profiles. Crazy or not, people are desperate to find love or at least get laid. These fake profiles show a range of ages and interests and are placed all over the U.S. So, it really is showing the landscape of what online dating is like everywhere.

Some fun facts from the show…
Only 32% of first messages get any response. For every message a man gets a woman receives 17.
Haha has a 45% reply rate
LOL has a 41% reply rate
HeHe is also successful, but much less so at 33%.

Some dating stats we learned that night…
Total number of single people in the United States: 54 Million
Total number of people who have used online dating: 40 Million (We know this increases daily)
Online dating is responsible for 280,000 marriages per year.
OkCupid is responsible for 30,000 first dates every single day.

Who knew??

10:00pm – The show then goes into improv mode and the actors pick a single guy and single girl out of the audience making up their OkCupid profile on the fly. They then act out what it would be like if these two new “characters” went on an online date. It’s HILARIOUS! You never know who is going to be in the audience and what kind of couple you’re going to get. If you have the guts, I highly recommend you volunteer for this. It will have you laughing so hard your sides will hurt.

From what they told me after the show, if you do volunteer they will give you a “thanks for playing” pin. My third and last gripe of the night… The pin says “I’m undateable!” Ok, so I’m single, just went to a show about online dating, volunteered to be the single girl/guy in your improv set where you just made fun of me in front of a theater full of people and now you’re telling me I’m undateable? Lemme just write my suicide note while I’m at the theater. If the find a better tagline for the pin I’m sure all of the volunteers would wear it with pride. Maybe, “I’m dateable!”

10:30pm – I walk up and say hello to the cast. They are a great group of people. You can tell they’ve been doing this show for a while and that they’ve seen it all (well, almost all) in the online dating world.

With online dating being so prevalent, I have no idea why this show isn’t playing in every major metropolitan city. It will make you laugh, maybe cry, and will definitely help you see the humor in finding love online. It’s not something for the faint of heart! Angelenos, you can get your tickets here.

And, good news for my friends in Chicago! Undateable has been work-shopped and expanded into #DateMe – An OkCupid Experiment, which is now playing in Chicago at Up Comedy Club as a two act show. They have even partnered with OkCupid to do little single mixers there after the show.

The moral of my night? No one is undateable!


When you’re in your 20s all people ask you is… “when are you getting married?” When you enter your 30s it’s “when are you having kids?” When you hit 35 and you haven’t done either of things because you either don’t want to or it just hasn’t been in your cards yet (rude), people start asking you “are you freezing your eggs?” Seriously. I’ve gotten this question several times in the last few months. And, because I have a blog and some awesomely dedicated readers, I thought I would answer this question for everyone to read.

So, am I freezing my eggs? No. I’m not. But, this isn’t an answer I came to lightly.

(Please note, these are MY thoughts and opinions! Please don’t comment about how I know nothing about science, breast cancer and egg freezing. I’m sharing my personal beliefs with you and would love for them to be respected.)

The science of it all.
Breast cancer runs in my family. My grandmother died when she was 49 after losing her battle with breast cancer. We have no idea what kind of breast cancer she had, it was the 70s! Yes, I can get the BRAC test done to see if I’m likely to get cancer as well and to see if that cancer is estrogen positive. I’ve had a few sit-downs with my AMAZING OBGYN over the last few years and collectively we decided against testing me. My doctor has been studying BRAC testing for years and while she thinks it can be an incredible resource and lifesaver for some, for others it may not be the best option. Because breast cancer is in my family history I am diligent about monthly self-breast exams and get an ultrasound every other year. My doctor believes this is enough for me right now. She also believes (as do I) that often people can test positive something and mind over matter can manifest that problem. What impact does this have on egg freezing you ask? In order to freeze your eggs you need to take hormone packed fertility shots. These shots make you drop several eggs at the same time so they can be harvested. My doctor is nervous that with my family history in cancer, pumping my body full of hormones probably isn’t the best idea for me. So, if I look at it like I could be giving myself cancer to freeze some eggs, I’m going to pass on this option for now.

Also, they say that they best thing to do is to freeze fertilized eggs. Now, knowing Murphy’s Law any woman who would freeze eggs fertilized with an amazing sperm donor would most likely meet the man of her dreams a couple of weeks later. Then, you’re left with your hot new husband raising some other guy’s kids or destroying those eggs and/or trying your luck the natural way.

Why does it have to be so hard!?

Kids aren’t cheap! And neither is egg retrieval and freezing! 

1. I did price this out recently while I was weighing my decision… egg retrieval and freezing is around $10,000 + $500 a year for storage. Yup… not cheap!

2. I LOVE kids. I really do. I’ve nannied for three families and started babysitting when I was 12. I even took that babysitting class from the YMCA when I was in Junior High. I remember being in my teenage years and thinking, “my biggest fear in life would be not being able to have kids.” To some degree, I still believe this. There is nothing more I want in life than to have kids, but I also have to be realistic. I’m on my own and working my ass off to support the life I’m living. I live in LA… it’s not cheap! Adding a kid to the mix would be such a joy, but also such a challenge. In order for me to afford to have a kid, I need to be working full-time. This also means that there is then no one to be taking care of said kid… so I would need to hire a full-time nanny. Nanny aside, a child is VERY expensive… housing, food, healthcare, clothes, diapers, etc. Just the basics add up fast! And, do I really want to do this alone and have someone else raise my child? Again, I’ve thought about this a lot and decided no.

Also, I truly commend all of those single parents out there. I had my niece for the day and was EXHAUSTED. They are SO much work! This is not me being dramatic… I know my mom friends would all agree. It takes two people to get pregnant with a kid (scientifically) and in my opinion that’s probably for a reason. It’s a lot of work to raise a child and I’m honestly scared I wouldn’t be able to do it alone.

So, what did I decide YES on?
I decided that at 35 if I was going to live my life and still be happy, I needed to put kids on the back burner until either there was a constant man in my life who could help me raise our kid and/or just accept that kids might not be in my cards and be okay with that. So, I’ve done a little of both. I also made the decision that I am going to continue to be the best aunt I can be. I thought a lot about it… do I want to be tired, poor and struggling to fulfill my dream of having a child or do I want to step back, figure out what it takes to truly be happy and enjoy the life I’m currently living and take my hard-earned money and spoil my niece, nephew and MYSELF.

After almost two years of deliberation I chose me… (and my niece and nephew). I would rather be the cool aunt that takes my niece to Paris for high school graduation than be running after a toddler when I’m 45-years-old.

At this point in my life I have lived independently for the last 14 years. I have worked my ass off creating a company (my baby) that is now thriving. I’ve accomplished a lot in my life and won’t be shamed because one of those accomplishments isn’t childbirth. The sad thing is that while my friends were off backpacking through Europe and on their honeymoons in Bali, I was home working. So, I’ve made the decision that now is the time for me to be selfish and accept that that’s totally ok.

Do I still want kids? Yes. But, right now I choose me first. If it happens it will be amazing, but am I going to force it through science? No.


February Soundtrack – Love Songs and Songs to Love

by Emily Macintosh on February 9, 2015

It’s the month of love and national Single’s Day! My gift to you are a few tunes I’m loving right now.

Loving this song and can’t wait to see 50 Shades of Grey this weekend! Perfect for getting busy… with someone or solo!

I’m obsessed with this guy… I hope 2015 is the year of James Bay.

Honorable mention this month goes to this GORGEOUS love song by Ella Henderson… “I feel like I’m ready for love…”

Some others I’m loving:
Home/Dirty Paws by the Gardiner Sisters
I See Fire by Ed Sheeran
Wild Ones by Bahari

My sexy time jams:
Paperweight by Joshua Radin and Schuyler Fisk
Everlong (Acoustic) by the Foo Fighters
Darling Nicki by Prince also covered by the Foo Fighters (I mean… how did Prince get away with this song back then? LOVE!)
Sex on Fire by Kings of Leon
By Your Side by Ben Taylor
Let Me Hold You by Josh Krajcik

Happy February peeps! xoxo!


How My Year Has Started Off in the Online Dating World…

January 20, 2015

Are men just getting more bold or do they literally just not give a fuck about anything? Yes, this is the only thought going through my mind as I scan my inbox on my online dating apps… Here are a few gems to give you an idea. Lets start with Bryan (with a Y): Bryan […]

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New Year, New Soundtrack… And Up We Go!

January 8, 2015

New year, new soundtrack… music is what I turn to when I want to dance, cry, scream, chill, clean, make-out or just drive.  Here are a few new jams to get your year started right. WORD. Something is got to give Everyone here is ready to go It’s been a hard year with nothing to […]

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No, no, no… That Did NOT Just Happen!

December 29, 2014

Sometimes the most embarrassing thing ever happens to you and you need to tell everyone about it… In my year of extreme rejection (cheating boyfriend, the “I’m just not that into” text, etc.) you just need to put on your big girl panties and deal. But, this can’t happen before one more mortifying thing happens […]

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