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Lets Talk About Sex, Baby…

by Emily Macintosh on April 4, 2014

safe-sex-unicorn
I’ve talked about condoms on here before, but recently I was having a conversation with my girlfriends the other night at dinner and they all told me I needed a blog post about safe sex.

A little background info… I’m 34. I’m been having sex for 14 years. I am the poster girl for safe sex. When I was 15 my great-uncle died from AIDS. When I was in college I TA’d a class on AIDS and its impact on society. I think those 2 things have made me be extra careful when I have sex. And yes, I’ve been on birth control since I was 16 as well (more for medical reasons than birth control).

What my deal is now… so, now that I’m 34 and I’m no longer waiting to find my ONE TRUE LOVE to do the deed, I am very verbal about STD testing and discussing it with people I’m going to have sex with. When I like someone and think I want to have sex with them I ask them when the last time was that they were tested. I also ask how many people they’ve had sex with since then and if they used protection. A lot of the time I get the “are you serious?”

My response, “YES. Do you want to have sex with me?”

Them, “Um, YES.” And there you go.

I’m not going to lie. I’ve had a lot of naysayers… “but condoms make sex horrible! They don’t feel good!” I can’t totally disagree with this, but condomless sex is something I only practice in a monogamous relationship.

For some reason, it was easier getting guys in their 20s to wear condoms (can some guy tell me why??). Was it because they were just happy to be getting laid? They were scared of getting someone pregnant?

But, I have run into A LOT of men in their 30s and 40s who don’t use condoms. This concerns me – who are these girls who don’t care where that guy’s dick has been??

Seriously. Blank stare.  WTF?

I also get the response, “don’t you trust me?” My response, “no. And I especially don’t trust that last girl you slept with who thought it was okay to not use protection. How many other guys has she done this with?

safesex-624x277

To make sure I’m always ready for anything, I always have condoms in my house. I have found that buying the variety pack helps put some guys at ease because they can choose one they like. Note: I always take them out of the box when I get home and toss it! No guy wants to see that the box has been opened and one of the condoms has been used by someone else.

I also get tested yearly and if asked, am happy to get tested more often. If I end up dating someone seriously and am ready to take our sexual relationship to the next step, I also ask to see a guy’s results.  Yes, really.  I know I sound like a crazy person, but if he really wants to rock my world condomless he needs to prove he’s ready to play.  And every time I get tested I always ask for a complete screen.  This means everything – blood work and vaginal.

What are you thoughts on safe sex? STDS and condomless sex? Does age have something to do with you?  What have your experiences been? Comment below!

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Spring is almost here! When the sun comes out, the skin does too… I remember being in college and one of my guy friends told me that Spring semester was the best time of the year because all of the girls looked “hot” again.  So, get a spray tan, throw on a maxi or board shorts and some flip flops start flirting!

Two songs I’m loving right now…

Not a Bad Thing by Justin Timberlake

Sleeping with a Friend by Neon Trees

Happy Spring!

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First Kiss… Makes Me Want to Make Out

by Emily Macintosh on March 11, 2014

I love everything about this (and now kinda want to randomly kiss a stranger).

Cheers to all of those amazing first kisses.

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Setting Up Your Online Date… Yes or No?

by Emily Macintosh on March 4, 2014

The last few dates I’ve been on haven’t been horrible, but also haven’t been great. I think if you’ve been dating as long as I have you can tell after an hour or so with someone if you want to spend more time with them AND if you have any physical chemistry.

The last date I went on was a couple of weeks ago.  REALLY nice guy. He’s a furniture designer, 40, owns a home, totally has his shit together and is engaging, but after 90 minutes with him I felt like I was either on a new business meeting or was already in the friend zone.  We met for wine. We talked and laughed. I had a glass of red, he ordered a sav blanc (I know… ), but he was a really nice guy.  AND, he picked up the check! (You know how I’m cursed with being left with the bill!)

After the date he walked me to my car, gave me a hug and said he “lets definitely do this again some time.”  Four days later he emailed me.  Just last night I emailed him back… “Thank you again for a nice night! It was so refreshing to have such a great conversation with someone new. I don’t think there’s a love connection, but would be happy to chat anytime and might even have a girl or two to set you up with.”

His response… “Great talking to you as well and sounds good. Good luck in your matching and keep in touch!”

200_s

So, I have a few girls I think I want to set him up with. He’s a nice guy and someone should date him. It’s just not me. What are your thoughts on setting up someone you met online?

 

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Soundtrack to My Life – All The Way, Be Okay

by Emily Macintosh on March 3, 2014

After Mercury being in retrograde all last month, I feel like we all need a pick-me-up.  Here are a couple of songs I’m loving right now.

All The Way by Timeflies

Be Okay by Oh Honey

Get in the car, put the windows down and rock out. Spring is almost here (and never really left LA!).

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My lovely twitter friend, Miss @MarnaP, sent me this article yesterday. I think it’s something EVERY woman between the ages of 14-60 needs to watch (guys should watch it too).  Once you watch it, you need to talk about, tell your friends and make sure they all watch it.  It’s FASCINATING.   So, sit back at your desk and take the next 9 minutes to be educated.

Did you watch the whole thing, did you? Ok, now we can talk.

When I was a pre-teen getting the sex talk from my mom, she insinuated/made us believe that she waited until marriage to have sex. Now, that I’m older I know better, but throughout my high school years I believed that sex was something special that should be reserved for someone you love. When I got older I was just looking to give my V-card away to someone who was nice to me. I didn’t love him, but the fact that he loved me so much made it okay (and it was the right decision for me).

But, now that I’m older, in my schedule peak, and have had sex with more than one person (gasp!), I know how important a physical relationship is. I also know that sometimes, a girl just needs to get laid. There are times I feel like I’ve given it up too soon and then there are other times that I feel like I waited too long. For me, I tend to wait longer with people I actually like and see a future with over people I’d just like to have sex with.

My real question is, is this sexual revolution of independent, strong women really hurting our chances to get married? Is birth control really to blame? Should I be taking a page from “Think Like A Man” and not giving anyone my cookie (even though I want to)?

I feel like I’m running into the problem that guys my age don’t want to date someone their age, but I also don’t want to have sex with someone who is 10 years older than me? If men are getting laid from women 8-10 years younger and perkier than me are they really going to come back to my age range when they are ready to settle down? I think not.

Lastly, while I get that if we come together as women and bring the “price” of sex back up what’s the likelihood that’s going to happen… ever. Women are competitive, jealous and down right mean when it comes to men. You know if I got together a group of 100 women in a room and said, “No one sleep with anyone for the next month and we’ll all get married.” 2-5 women will slut it up in the first week – BECAUSE. THEY. CAN.

Thoughts on this? Comment below!

A couple of questions to ponder:
What’s your price of sex?
Did birth control make you more sexually active? OR is it the condom? We live in the age of STDs people!

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2 Guys, 1 Girl… the latest online dating trend?

by Emily Macintosh on February 14, 2014

Yes, I suppose I should be blogging about Valentine’s Day right now, but I’m not celebrating it, so I don’t give a crap about the holiday. Instead, I thought I would dive into this interesting new trend I’m running in to in online dating.

The trend… 2 guys looking for a girlfriend to share.  Take that in for a minute… A girlfriend. To. Share.

Now, because I always want to be informed and I’m the most curious (some might say nosey!), person in the world, I have, of course, wanted to learn more.  But, the thing is, this isn’t my thing.  I get jealous of women who have married my ex-boyfriends.  I would NOT do well sharing something physically and emotionally.

I ran across this profile on OkCupid.  Note: They have changed their screen name SEVERAL times, but normally it’s along the lines of “2dudes4u.”  This is what their profile says:

About me:
We are two straight gentleman looking for a discreet, ongoing and intimate relationship with a woman that we both can share. We only want one woman; someone sweet and nice like us who understands what we are looking for. We focus completely on you, Four hands all over your body, two tongues licking you and eventually when you can’t take it anymore both of us making love to you. We like it slow, sensual, both of us inside you at the same time, one in each. Many women find this to be the best kind of sex they can have. We know that not only is it hard to find, but it’s not something you need anyone knowing about. You can count on us to keep it totally confidential and secret. We are fully aware that some women need this occasionally, and some women can’t orgasm any other way. Even if you are involved in a relationship and would like to maintain it we are totally fine with it and have similar situations ourselves. You don’t have to worry about anyone finding out. This is an incredibly intimate thing, the most intimate thing a woman can do. It’s not very compatible with normal relationships, nonetheless it is something some of us need.

Both of us are good looking, 5ft 11, nice and not too small or big. We can chat, on here, or on the phone with you a bit first to make sure we are all on the same page. We are looking for a nice woman, someone who deserves us. (Note, they are looking for a “nice” woman.)

As soon as we meet you, we are going to take this profile down. We only want one, special girl. We won’t tie you down either, you can be who you want to be. And tell us about everything, be honest with us about everything.

The first things people usually notice about me:
Duality

The most private thing I’m willing to admit:
We are actually two romantic sweethearts who love making a girl feel as good as she can.

You should message me if:
You are interested in something with both of us.

Especially if you have ever fantasized about making love to two men or dp, we are the guys for you. We are really nice, sweet and we want something ongoing. Nobody will find out, yet we want it to be intimate and loving. We want you to feel safer than ever, more desired, more satisfied and more complete.

Ok, so it doesn’t take a brain surgeon to get that this is all about sex.  And, if this is your thing – these guys aren’t bad looking, go for it!

This is another one I ran into (there are several of these out there). Please note, one of these guys is “The Guy Who Didn’t Know He Was Bi”  from Tinder who I was chatting with in December (not the one pictured).  I wonder if he’s still trying to figure that out…

IMG_3481Thoughts on this?  Do you think there should be a new online dating category for this? A new app? Is anyone else seeing this trend?

So far 2014 is off to an interesting start… married guys and guys looking for a DP (yes, I had to look up what that was) threesome.  What happened to finding your lobster? (If you don’t know this Friends reference, look it up and start watching reruns.)

friends_lobster

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The “No Reservations” Date

February 6, 2014

No, I didn’t go on a date with Anthony Bourdain, but my second date with the Ex-cop shall now be known as “No Reservations.” I met Ex-cop on Tinder. Really handsome, 41, had great pictures of him doing a little bit of everything… traveling, running, holidays with the fam, etc.  There is a little distance [...]

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What’s Up With The Married Men on Tinder?

February 4, 2014

Yes, I know married men are all over the online dating scene, but is it me or are they just getting more and more open about the fact that they are married and looking for a fuck buddy more than ever before? A few weeks ago my girlfriend texted me and said, “OMG this married [...]

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February Soundtrack – Run, Run, Run & The Wire

February 4, 2014

Yes, February is supposed to be all about love, but I’m LOVING these songs. Please note BOOTH JONATHAN is in this video! Here are a few others that I’m digging this month (some new and some oldies, but goodies): Hunter Hayes & Jason Mraz – Everybody’s Got Somebody But Me Drink You Away – Justin [...]

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