Blackberry Messenger is NOT an OK form of communication

Anyone who has seen “He’s Just Not That Into You” and who is currently dating, knows that there are far too many forms of communication in the dating world. There is instant message, blackberry messenger (bbm), texting (and sexting!), email (personal and your online dating inbox), your cell, work and home phones and of course an actual card (I think I have gotten 2 of these in my entire life from someone I’ve been dating and one was written by the florist). So, you have to be careful about what road you’re okay taking when you start communicating with someone. I usually am okay with email an the occasional text/bbm if that person has called in the past and doesn’t have a fear of picking up the phone.


I recently went a few dates with a guy (we’ll call him Tall Guy – he is 6’4 and all legs) and we met on eharmony. We chatted on the phone a few times, emailed and had now gone on 2 dates – one at Pinkberry and one a fun Japanese place. After these dates, I had decided it was okay to accept him as a bbm contact. BIG MISTAKE. After 2 weeks of him not asking me out again, but feeling the need to check in via bbm, our messengering conversation went something like this…

Emily: Hey – so here’s the thing and I’m just gonna throw it out there… I know ur busy, but I like it when guys call and chat and ask me out on dates. So, if you wanna hang out again lemme know. Bbm is good for “hi” but a call is better 🙂

Tall Guy: 🙁 I’m sorry!

Emily: You don’t have to be sorry. I get it… technology makes dating too confusing. I just havn’t heard from u besides bbm in a while so wasn’t sure what u were thinking

Tall Guy: I understand what u mean.

Emily: I’m just not big on having to make the effort all the time. I’m looking to get wooed – at some point 🙂

Tall Guy: I’ve been in a work bubble this week and last and have been anti social. Your the second girl to make me realize that.

Emily: I just always figured if someone liked me they’d want to see me, but again, I’m not really sure if that’s the case

Tall Guy: Well I would definitely love to see u again! and catch up on the phone too.

Emily: Good! 🙂

Emily: U have my info – call me when u have a time u want to ask me out. Cool?

Tall Guy: I will. I have NOTHING work related over the weekend.

Emily: I’m actually crazy busy this weekend. But, I’m around next week. Cool?

Tall Guy: Ok. We’ll definitely do dinner next week.

Emily: Sounds good. Talk soon 🙂

Tall Guy: Thanks:). Talk to u later.

Emily: Nite :). Sorry to get all girly on u

Tall Guy: I like your style;)

Emily: :). Nite!

Tall Guy: Gnite

Yay! He’s gonna call and we’re going to go out again!

Another 2 weeks fly by with radio silence and I figure I have nothing to lose and shoot him a text saying, “Hey, bummer I never heard from you. Hope all is well!” Hey, it was worth a shot, right?

He responded a few hours later… “I thought you blew me off.” I officially give up. SERIOUSLY? I was actually really bummed by this too – he was cute, fun and really nice in person.

The lesson learned from this experience? Make them call you and only text and bmm when you have something short and sweet to day. Every date just gets you closer to the “one” right?

2 Comments

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