Girlfriends Should Be Hotter (Than You!)

NOTE: I have been a girlfriend before, thank you VERY much.

This one still shocks me. In my hours of match profile surfing, I came across a really cute guy. Tall, dark and handsome, early 30s, and lived within 20 miles of me (yes, any specific standards I once had – funny, nice, has a job, likes his family, etc. – have all gone to shit now that I’m of child rearing age. Don’t judge me).
According to his profile he has just moved to LA. “Perfect!” I thought. “I will be his guide!”
We emailed a bit via our match inboxes and then exchanged personal email addresses. This is when it gets good – the Facebook, Google and MySpace stalking can begin! You can tell a lot about someone by their “real” profiles. These profiles are generally much more honest than their match.com profiles, so you get a better understanding of what kind of person you might be meeting. After one Google search of his personal email address, the nickname, Aspiring Model Man, was born.
Aspiring Model Man, was just that. Another guy from out of town who moved to LA to become a star. According to his profiles, he was in his mid 30s, had left a job he hated, an education he never finished, and everything he loved somewhere on the east coast, to fulfill his dream of making it big in Hollywood.
Now, having lived in Los Angeles most of my life, I have come across several wanna be actors, models and more. Go to any bar, restaurant or “invitation only” party in LA and they are the hot ones serving you your drink, passing appetizers or turning people away at the door. Unfortunately, it’s just not something I’m interested in dating. I’m 30. I have a job. I know what I want to do with my life and I’m looking for someone to share it with me.
So, in an effort to not hurt his feelings, I pulled the “radio silence” card. Meaning, I pretty much just stopped answering his emails. I just wasn’t interested. A few weeks later, I got an email from him.
“r u evvvvvvvvvvvvvvvver going to ask me out?” (I’m not kidding. That’s exactly what it said!)
A few hours later I responded… “Here’s the thing… I actually like it when men ask ME out. Also, I know you said you were in sales, but after a little online search saw that you’re trying to be a model! I think that is awesome, but after being in LA and knowing a ton of people in the industry, I’m really looking for someone who is outside of that field. Ya know? I hope you don’t think I’m a huge bitch, but I’m really hoping to find a real relationship and am looking for someone who truly is my match. Good luck with everything!”

Within two minutes, I got this response back, “yikes. i wanted a date because i really dont have many friends. if i wanted a girlfriend she would be way hotter than you.”
At least I got a good laugh out of it. It is called MATCH.com, right?
I’m going out tonight and heading to a wedding tomorrow. Hopefully I’ll get some good stories our of it, or better yet, a match!

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