The Guy Who Forgot His Wallet

I met “No Wallet Guy” (NWG) on Match.com this year. Again, he wasn’t really my type, but I’ve been trying to date outside my type, since obviously still single at 30, my “type” doesn’t seem to be working for me! We emailed a few times and his profile seemed nice. A few things to note on his profile… He said he was an engineer and 5’10. Back to those “facts” later!

We finally find a time to meet and decide on drinks at a nearby high-end sushi place. I arrive 5 minutes early and don’t see the guy from the profile anywhere. Then, a man about 5’7 comes up to me… “Emily?” OH SHIT.

As we venture inside the restaurant I head to the bar for our “drinks” and he heads to the hostess. WHAT??? Yes, NWG had made reservations. I quickly realize that drinks is turning into dinner.

As we sit down for dinner, NWG orders an $18 glass of wine and a platter of sushi. While waiting for dinner to come I learn a few more things about NWG that he wasn’t forthcoming about on his profile. He has an identical twin (I have a ton of twin friends, but think identical twins are kinda weird). He is an engineer, but happened to forget to mention that he is an engineer in the Coast Guard. Wait, did I mention he is clearly under 5’10?? These are not bad things, but more things I was surprised by.

We continue to chat and things just seem to be going downhill faster than Jack and Jill. We have almost nothing in common. He doesn’t own a TV (the only thing going thru my head is, how does he keep up with what’s going on between Meredith and Derek let alone watch Sunday football??). He hasn’t seen a movie in over 3 years (You DIDN’T see 500 Days of Summer???). He is into “extreme activities” like mountain climbing and camping. Extreme camping to me is having to crash at a friend’s house and sleep on a full size Aero Bed.

So, after an hour of painful chit chat and LOTS of sushi the $100 bill comes. (I had a beer and 6 pieces of sushi.) I offer to pay for half seeing there is not way we are EVER going out again. He says thanks and then starts getting flush and antsy…

“Oh My God. I’m so embarrassed. I changed my pants before I left and think I forgot my wallet.”
Me: “HmmmOk. I’ll get it.”

Him: “Wow. Thanks.”

Did he think we were going to leave without paying the bill or wash dishes in the back to cover it? Two minutes after I sign and pay for dinner I announce that it is time for me to get going. NWG walks me to my car and says we should get together again soon. Sure…

Oh my way home I call my mom and tell her my horror story. She responds with “WHAT? Is he going to pay you back? Oh no, Emily! Do you think was a scam? He picks up girls online to go to dinner with and forgets his wallet for a free meal! You were used!” I calm her down and just chalk this up to a BAD date. One of my guy friends said that he would be more likely to leave home without his pants than his wallet on a first date. Unfortunately, he wasn’t the one I was on a date with. No pants would have meant no dinner or drinks!

The next morning I get an email in my inbox from NWG! It reads “Thanks, again, for dinner last night; I had a real good time. We talked quite a bit about family, I am always a little verbose around that topic. I was wondering what ur plans are for the weekend. I don’t have too much going on; Let me know if your up for something.”

I was in shock! Did he really want to go out again? I would have been mortified and hid in my house for a week. So, I responded (I’m DEAD serious. This is what I wrote word-for-word)

“Hi NWG,

Thanks for your email. While it was great meeting you, per our conversation at dinner, I definitely don’t think we have all that much in common. I’m much more of a pop culture girl, while you enjoy more extreme hobbies.


Also, while I know you didn’t mean to forget your wallet, the date was really expensive and I blew my weekend budget on our dinner. As a small business owner I’m on a really tight budget. Of course, I wasn’t expecting you to pay for our date (hence me asking if we could split it), but I also wasn’t expecting to pay for the whole thing either.

Good luck with your search. I’m sure you’ll find someone who is a perfect match for you.”


10 minutes later, this was his response, “Thank you for your honesty, I do apologize about the dinner/wallet issue. I would like to take care of my portion of dinner. I appreciate that you dealt with it gracefully. However, I don’t think you should take the hit. If you would let me give u cash 50 60 bucks I would like that. “

Now, I’m at a crossroads. Am I that bitchy girl who asks for money back or do I just not respond and end the whole thing now?

I was peer-pressured I tell you! The girls in my life “made” me respond and later that day NWG dropped off a card and $60 in cash to an undisclosed location which was not my house. The card said it all. It was a hallmark card that read “Congratulations on finding the one!” NWG wrote on the inside “Not a match. Good luck with your search!”

In the end he redeemed himself and is really a nice guy. Major props for the funny card and the cash! But, I chose to go home and start match.com surfing again.


8 Comments

  1. Loved your story. This same thing just happened to me this week, though it was a 5th date (of the other 4 dates, I took him out once for his birthday). And the bill arrives and suddenly he realizes he doesn't have his wallet. Then asks, "Would you mind? I'll make good on it." A bit stunned I say sure and take care of it. However, somewhere in the back of my mind I'm asking myself "is this really happening?" And then I begin to wonder about some things that just didn't seem to be adding up.
    Do I give him a second chance or cut bait?

  2. Hilarious story. I was a NWG this weekend, or more accurately, the guy who lost his credit card in the moments prior to the date. I'm still mortified that she had to pay, and she wouldn't accept cash at the time. She made a joke about it, but I was like a deer in headlights. I panicked and didn't employ a couple damage control measures I've formulated in retrospect. The next night I called and I offered to take her out a few days later to make it up to her, but she seems a bit skittish. I'm a really nice guy and I really like her. What is the best thing to do? This was only a second date and I don't want to come off as too needy be sending flowers, etc. Hmmm…

  3. Hi Emily, I just had the same thing happen to me!! It was a nice but brief (Monday night) dinner but when it came to the bill, he said he had lost his card it seemed. He panicked a bit and seemed really flustered. He thinks he forgot it at the petrol station before coming to pick me up. It was our first date so I am really not impressed! Should i give him a second chance? He dropped me home after and gave me a quick hug but hasn’t text to say he has found the card/any sort of update on the whole situation???

  4. Hi Emily, I feel like you handle it very well and probably got respect from NWG. It seems odd to me that he would make dinner reservation without getting your input first.

    I came across your your post when searching for “forgot wallet”. I once had a NWG friend, it was NOT dating situation. I had been wanting how to handle a situation if someone forgot the wallet and ask me to pay. NWG took me and my parent to the Amish and also to buy some materials. When we were at the shop, he suddenly said (without searching for his bag) “I forgot my cheque book. Do you two (me & parent) have money?” We checked and only had $500 total. Then he asked how much we had, we said $500. After a short while, his assistant gave him about $1000. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubts, but it was too obvious that he was just saying that he “forgot cheque book.” (1) Why on earth would anyone use cheque as transaction with the AMISH?! (2) Why his assistant later would have cash for his purchase? (3) Last time we went, he bought cash for the purchase?! I have distanted myself from them ever since then. I felt it was too much. I never gave an explanation on why though. Thoughts?

    The sad thing is “friend” is supposed to be a respectable figure.

    I just want to share my story as I liked how you stand up for yourself, maybe you and anyone that is reading this can give some advice.

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