WANTED: Holiday (and then some!) Boyfriend

by Emily Macintosh on December 6, 2011

WANTED: Holiday Boyfriend!  (Early 30’s, Los Angeles)

Let me be clear. I want a boyfriend, I really do.

I think that we should start off our relationship during the holidays.  Just think… we can get the meeting the family and gift giving awkward firsts out of the way in a matter of weeks and then spend the coming months not worrying about those dreaded moments.

Let’s recognize something. The holidays suck, especially for us single people. All of your coupled friends are going to be doing couple things: going to each other’s office parties, wearing ugly sweaters together, etc. Wouldn’t you rather do that with someone cute on your arm?

Let’s recognize another thing. Deep down inside, you don’t want to be alone for the holidays.  You want someone to watch Elf with, help you shop for your family and those people at the office you don’t really want to buy anything for, you want to be able to tell your mom that you’re dating someone and that she shouldn’t worry, you will give her grandkids someday…

But, you’ve spent all year working on your career, fucking girls you’ve met in bars, taking exotic vacations so you can say on your online dating profile that you’ve been to 20 countries, and becoming a wine connoisseur and are just now realizing that all of your married guy friends get to be Santa this year for their toddlers and you don’t.

The solution:
Be my boyfriend for the holidays and we’ll see what happens from there…

How it works:
You (who is between the ages of 30-38) reply with a picture and a brief bio (spelling and grammar count… I don’t need another unintelligent boyfriend). If it seems like a good fit we’ll set up a casual mini-date (coffee or cocktails). If that’s a success and we’re both feeling it, we’ll date… maybe forever.

The benefits:

  • You have someone to keep you company on during the holiday season.  I’m also an excellent power shopper, movie buff, foodie, cuddler and workout partner. (Yes, I do have references)
  • I like to cook. Especially for others.  Impromptu dinner party? Done.
  • Having worked in PR and Marketing for 12 years, I am quite the pop culture guru.  From Jersey Shore to Good Morning America to Presidential debates, I have it covered.  Bring me to a cocktail party and I will rule the room.  (I am also a great date as I can and will talk to anyone… I don’t need to be entertained!)
  • Hate holiday music? Too bad!  I love it and you will learn how to too.
  • Love taking photos?  Great!  Lets meet up soon so I can get my holiday cards out…
  • Worried about finding someone to kiss on New Year’s Eve?  Done!  Just make sure to have the Champagne handy…

About Me:
Early 30s, athletic, small business owner, outgoing, easy on the eyes and have a kick-ass family.  Oh, did I mention they come as part of the package?

Not About You (aka Dealbreakers or, Don’t Bother if You Exhibit the Following):
Heavy drug use, smoker, homeless, unemployed, laziness, virgin (yes, I recently saw the Virgin Diaries on TLC and am still traumatized) still in love with old girlfriend from years past, only want a girlfriend for the holidays.

Interested? Then send your pic and bio and get this ball rolling.  Mylifeonmatch@gmail.com

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

MoneyMaus December 7, 2011 at 3:34 am

I hope you find your (holiday) boyfriend! Still single over here as well and moving from SD to
NYC hasn’t improved that status – drat. At least we don’t have to endure awkward family pictures regarding whether the BF should be in them or not ;)


Emily Macintosh December 7, 2011 at 8:31 pm

This is more fun than anything else… I’m not really looking for full time boyfriend or someone to be in my xmas cards! Happy Holidays to you my dear!


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