When I first started my blog in 2009, I blogged about Tall Guy. Tall Guy was hot, sweet, had a great job, but was just uncommunicative. He only wanted to talk via BBM. Read here for a refresher course. (The text exchange will crack you up.) Two weeks ago (yes, I swear this month was full of ghosts of boyfriends past!) Tall Guy texted me out of the blue… reminder, I have not heard from him since 2009. 2-0-0-9!!! (Note: Since then I have been matched up with him on OkCupid, eHarmony, AND Match.com. How do you like them apples?)
Tall Guy: Hey, Em. Remember me?
Me: Yes! Tall Guy! How are you? What’s up?
Tall Guy: I just drove by where we went on our first date and was thinking I should reach out. How have you been?
Me: I’ve been good, thanks! Yes, we should definitely get together. I would love to see you. What’s your schedule like?
(Yes, this is still ALL VIA TEXT!)
Tall Guy: How’s Friday?
Me: Friday would great! Talk then. (It’s currently Saturday)
MONDAY – Me: Hey, Tall Guy! Happy Monday! Hope you have a great week. Look forward to seeing you on Friday.
Tall Guy… radio silence.
THURSDAY – Me: We still on for tomorrow?
Tall Guy (5 hours later): I might have a work thing I have to go to, but I should know in the morning. Will text you first thing. Look forward to seeing you!
Me: Sounds good!
FRIDAY – 11:00am – ME: Hey Tall Guy, are we still for tonight? Looking forward to it!
2:45pm – ME: I hate to stalk, but any news on tonight?
Tall Guy: Shit, I’m so sorry… I totally forgot to call and see if I had to go. Gimme a min…
Tall Guy – 10 mins later… – I have to go to this thing tonight. I’m sorry! What’s your weekend look like?
Me: Bummer. No worries, Um… tomorrow night might work. I’ll move some things around.
Tall Guy: Great! I’m going to watch UFC at 7pm, but after that is good.
Me: After that? What time?
Tall Guy: 10pm. Drinks and snacks? Text me a pic!
Me: Wait… 10pm? Um, no. And a pic? Did you forget what I looked like?
Tall Guy: Haha!
Me: Ok, look… I’d love to see you and catch up, but lets do it sometime during real date hours. Just shoot me a text 
Tall Guy: Sounds good.
AND… nothing. I have heard NOTHING from him since. Blow me off once, shame on me. Blow me off twice, Fuck You. Ask me for a pic? I might kill you the next time I see you.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Hope you had a good holiday Emily! Went home and hooked up with my junior high BF the night before T-giving. It was fun but you really can’t go back, can you? That WON’T be happening again. Let’s make a new year’s resolution together – no more recycling in 2013! BTW just saw your last twitter post – can’t tell you how many guys talk about depraved sex acts online…wonder if their mothers and sisters know they treat women that way? Why are these guys such dirty talkers online and so tame when you meet them? LAME.
I can’t promise that I won’t recycle, but I can promise that if I do, it will be for completely selfish reasons
Now, have you ever experienced a good dirty talker/sexter? It can be VERY fun. But, I agree with you… if they can’t walk the walk, what’s the point?
Sorry to hear this guy did the same thing twice. Isn’t it amazing how we keep going back for more abuse by the jerks and guys who like us don’t even get a first chance? I keep trying to change that…..
The funny this is that he just EMAILED me. I’m all sorts of confused!
Oh, honey.
Why did you keep offering to move things around, change your schedule, and otherwise bother him when it was pretty clear he was going to blow you off?
Don’t be confused when you don’t get an answer. A non-answer IS an answer. The fact that he is not willing to prioritize communicating with you or meeting up with you, at all, is a sign that you should not be wasting your time or energy worrying or wondering. People who want to see you make it a priority to do so. Period. There are no exceptions. There are no feelings that supersede that.
Although this exchange reads as a completely blatant blow off, even if the initial change in plans had been real, you are still one the trying to narrow down time, date, etc. etc.
This person is trying to have sex with you. You were essentially bootycalled. Get real. Get a clue. Move on.
Ouch! The truth hurts, but thank you for the comment!
That text message thread PAINED me. I hope he’s uber hot or rich?
I don’t know you, never met you, but you’re better than that. Better than him.
1.) You reached out to him on Monday and wished him a Happy Monday and great week.
AWESOME. This is typically the interested guy’s role, but any guy would be ecstatic if a girl made the initial interest text. He didn’t even respond? at all? ever? Sketch town. It’s not like he didn’t see the text. It’s not like it takes more than 4.7 seconds to respond back. Red flag 1
2.) You sent the initial “we still on?” text messages on Thursday and Friday. You shouldn’t have to do that. That’s a guys responsibility. If can’t send a confirmation text/call, he doesn’t deserve to date you. Red Flag 2
3.) “Tall Guy: Shit, I’m so sorry… I totally forgot to call and see if I had to go. Gimme a min…” You’re obviously a priority… Also he’s an idiot. IF, a big IF, I had forgot to check, I wouldn’t of told you, I just would of done it and THEN text you. I wouldn’t of text you first, letting you know I don’t care if we go out or not tonight enough to check my schedule. Red Flag 3
4.) He’d rather watch UFC than go out on a date!? um…WHAT!? I’m pretty sure you can miss 2 dudes fighting, for one night, to go out on a date with an attractive girl. His priorities are wrong this early and would only get worse in time. Red Flag 4
5.) “Text me a pic!”. Just no. No. What grown, adult, mature male would ask a girl for a “pic” before a date? Unless he’s 16, this is not okay behavior.
In summary, abort, abort, abort. Do not go on a date with this guy. If you do, I will drive up to LA and smash your phone, thus breaking your ability to communicate with BBM. #RobKardashian
Sounds like he may of had a event to go to and needed a date so he contacted many women and you were just a option if every one else fell through.
Well, that’s not what I wanted to hear!
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