Meeting up with an Ex isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. While I’ve been replaying the “date” in my head for the past week, I still don’t regret going since I know I would have always wondered what could have been.
The ex-boyfriend I went out with is… drum roll please… Tech Guy. Tech Guy’s story was so good, I was actually a Peril of the Week on Cyber Dating Expert. Tech Guy and I dated for 4 months. The first few months were fantastic, but as you can see Tech Guy had some issues I was trying to ignore. In the end, he broke up with me telling me I “just wasn’t the one.” Always a fun thing to hear.
A few weeks ago he reached out to me on Match.com. ”Wow, Em… you look great and it sounds like things are going so well for you. Just wanted to check in and say hi.” This lead to a couple weeks of emailing and then a drink date.
So, even though all my friends, readers, and tweeple told me no, no, no… I went anyway. What if he changed and I really was the one? Well, you don’t have to read this whole post to know HE IS NOT THE ONE. He is STILL AN ASSHOLE. But, I digress.
We went to a cute little restaurant in Santa Monica. We met out front. Hug, hug… hi, hi. But, never once did he say I looked nice. Which, BTW, I know I did. We hadn’t see each other in 5 years and I have definitely come more into my own as a woman and fashionista. My boobs looked great and my eye make-up was smoldering. (I sound a little Mindy Project here, but it’s the truth.)
Once inside, I was thinking that we were going to eat dinner, but before I knew it Tech Guy had ordered us 2 beers and fries. Note, this is a sign that someone is A. either feeling out the night or B. doesn’t want to spend a lot of time with you. (Side note: My first date with Tech Guy was one of my favorite first dates ever. We went out for a drink and spend the next 6 hours together.)
We chatted, ate a few fries, polished off our beers, and had cashed a whole 45 minutes together. He asked if I wanted to get another drink, but the place was so small, packed, and loud, another 45 minutes catching up the way we were didn’t make sense. I lived about 10 blocks away and told he we could either get another drink at the restaurant or go back to my apartment and open a bottle of wine.
DON’T FREAK OUT. NOTHING HAPPENED.
We went back to my apt where we feel into our old routine. We chatted a bit more, watched Big Bang Theory, had another glass of wine and before I knew it, he was on his way. Is it ironic that the next morning my alarm woke me up to Taylor Swift’s We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together?
The best way to describe the night is “meh.” For a fleeting minute, I remembered all of the things I liked about Tech Guy, but for the hours and days following our “catch up” I remembered all the things I hated about him. Haven’t heard from him since and don’t plan on talking to him ever again.
That, my friends, is what you call closure. (Unlike Rachel, I have no desire to see my ex-boyf EVER again).
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I liked this post Emily.
Whilst the consensus may have been DONT, we’ve all been there before.
Sometimes it’s curiosity.
In this situation it sounds like what had been in the way of a strong relationship with you (ie: a crazy short fuse), might no longer exist and he wanted to prove it.
Why though did you cry after the date??
Thanks, Paul. I’m glad you liked the post and hope you keep reading! I forgot I cried after the date… thank you for that reminder!
I cried for a few reasons… 1. I had too much to drink and 2. I was bummed. I really want to find “the one” and always have hope that if I don’t find him he’s going to find me. I was “buzzed upset” that night that this was just another failure. I felt defeated. But, as I mentioned, I woke up the next morning with a totally different outlook. As you can see from many of my posts, alcohol and dating aren’t always the best match, but I do love my wine!
I agree Paul, I like all of Emily’s posts. Who hasn’t tried to go back just once with an ex? Hasn’t worked out for me a few times so I was worried about Em. Date sounded kind of shady how he was acting though at the restaurant. You yada yada’d us a little though. “We chatted a bit more, watched Big Bang Theory, had another glass of wine and before I knew it, he was on his way.” Can’t let you get away with that! haha Did he try to kiss you or make any moves? Did it just fizzle and end naturally? Did he say he wanted to see you again? I guess if he didn’t contact you again he thought it was meh or at least knew you thought so. Glad to see it worked ok at least it gave you closure. When you coming to nyc?
Haha! I’m glad you like the posts too! Ok… a little more info on the date. He had to be somewhere by ten (had a friend staying at his house), so he left. End of story. No one made any moves. We just fell back into our old routine. And no, he didn’t say that he wanted to see me again, but did randomly text last night. So, there you have it. He is someone I might be able to be friends with, but I’m not sure I want to do that to myself. We’ll see!
No trips to NYC planned now, but I will keep you all posted!