WHY? WHY does shit like this keep happening to me? I just want to find a normal guy to date, fall in love with, marry and have babies with. Is that too much to ask? Apparently, yes.
Recently I was matched up with a cute brunette on Tinder. His profile said he was 33 and newly single. We’ll call him BG for BI GUY. Here’s our conversation:
Me: Happy Sunday! Do anything fun this weekend?
BG: Crazy Saturday, lazy Sunday. You?
Chat, chat, chat.
Me: So, how’s Tinder treating you so far?
BG: Just got it. Woke up this morning to 100 matches! LOL! Not sure what hit me!
Me: 100 matches? Not too picky, huh? I’ve only had like 20 over the last month!
BG: Haha! Building a harem 🙂 Really? You’re gorgeous! Must be different for girls.
Me: Newly single huh? Brave to jump on here!
BG: Maybe you’ll be my first?
Me: Always happy to pop an online dating cherry 🙂
Chat, chat, chat… where do you live, what do you do, etc.
A couple of days later, when it gets weird…
Me: So, how are those 100 matches treating you?
BG: Good! I think I may get to live out a few long time fantasies. (Yes, he has just sealed his fate that he is now NEVER going on a date with me.)
Me: Oh really? Like what? (Come on, like you guys didn’t want to know?!)
BG: I think this girl and guy and I are going to hook up.
Me: Ooook, then.
BG: I have a fantasy about a girl teaching me to such cock. (I’m sorry. WHAT? Maybe this is why you’re no longer with your girlfriend?)
Me: Interesting. Do you just want her to teach you or do you want to suck his cock too? (Now, I needed specifics.)
BG: I think it would be erotic if we did it together basically. Stopping, kissing each other too. All of us.
Me: So, you’re bi, right?
BG: Never tried it. Just a fantasy.
Me: Hope you have fun and that works out for you! Def think we’re looking for different things on here. Have a good Thanksgiving and travel safe!
BG: Cool. You too!
And that happened. Next!
I read some of your comments and wanted to clarify something, I’m 100% supportive of people experimenting with their sexuality. Obviously, this is something BG needed to do. The thing that is weird about this exchange is that he felt the need to tell me about it after we had talked for 10 minutes over 2 days. It was just a little too much info for a tinder chat, ya know?