The Economics of Dating – How the Pill Ruined My Chances of Getting Married by 30

My lovely twitter friend, Miss @MarnaP, sent me this article yesterday. I think it’s something EVERY woman between the ages of 14-60 needs to watch (guys should watch it too).  Once you watch it, you need to talk about, tell your friends and make sure they all watch it.  It’s FASCINATING.   So, sit back at your desk and take the next 9 minutes to be educated.

Did you watch the whole thing, did you? Ok, now we can talk.

When I was a pre-teen getting the sex talk from my mom, she insinuated/made us believe that she waited until marriage to have sex. Now, that I’m older I know better, but throughout my high school years I believed that sex was something special that should be reserved for someone you love. When I got older I was just looking to give my V-card away to someone who was nice to me. I didn’t love him, but the fact that he loved me so much made it okay (and it was the right decision for me).

But, now that I’m older, in my schedule peak, and have had sex with more than one person (gasp!), I know how important a physical relationship is. I also know that sometimes, a girl just needs to get laid. There are times I feel like I’ve given it up too soon and then there are other times that I feel like I waited too long. For me, I tend to wait longer with people I actually like and see a future with over people I’d just like to have sex with.

My real question is, is this sexual revolution of independent, strong women really hurting our chances to get married? Is birth control really to blame? Should I be taking a page from “Think Like A Man” and not giving anyone my cookie (even though I want to)?

I feel like I’m running into the problem that guys my age don’t want to date someone their age, but I also don’t want to have sex with someone who is 10 years older than me? If men are getting laid from women 8-10 years younger and perkier than me are they really going to come back to my age range when they are ready to settle down? I think not.

Lastly, while I get that if we come together as women and bring the “price” of sex back up what’s the likelihood that’s going to happen… ever. Women are competitive, jealous and down right mean when it comes to men. You know if I got together a group of 100 women in a room and said, “No one sleep with anyone for the next month and we’ll all get married.” 2-5 women will slut it up in the first week – BECAUSE. THEY. CAN.

Thoughts on this? Comment below!

A couple of questions to ponder:
What’s your price of sex?
Did birth control make you more sexually active? OR is it the condom? We live in the age of STDs people!

12 Comments

  1. This is a very complex issue. I think age matters a lot for women in this case. Most of us have a biological clock that’s ticking and when we get into our 30s, it’s crunch time. That’s when it really gets cutthroat and nasty in the competition for men. I find that most men I date at least talk about marriage…perhaps to get a woman into bed in the first place. After you agree to sex, things change dramatically. They start to take you for granted. Not all the time, but often. Overall, the Pill was a great invention. It’s given women more freedom. Basically, it comes down to what are you willing to accept from a guy? Is it okay to date someone who’s living at home at age 30? With the economy having been bad, we lower our standards. We can’t always expect a man to wine and dine us. However, you can tell if a guy is just plain cheap. This is such a complicated topic. It really depends on the man and woman, what their moral values are and what they think about commitment.

  2. Very complicated topic with no one correct answer. Everything in life is happening later for Generation X/Y: first job, marriage, first home purchase, student loan payoff, etc. Economic uncertainty, ambition, education, more liberal upbringing and, for the upper middle class and rich folk, a general atmosphere of “experiencing life.” All these factors, with a de-emphasis on family and access to plentiful and enjoyable sex, has commoditized sex to a certain degree. Women’s sexual liberation is a win-win for all involved and may contribute to the decline of marriage-minded men, but probably not any more than the myriad other factors at play. On some level, the massive divorce rates of the 1970s-1990s has probably scared a lot of people into trying to avoid their parents’ mistakes. Then there is the whole bogus concept of “not settling” which probably has derailed millions of potential marriages by now in a false promise that you’ll find your “perfect match.” Those of us who have been around know better. Pop culture, advertising and media portrays husbands as doofuses who can’t get anything right and married friends are always bitching about their wives – so it’s not like there is great incentive to get married. Then you ALWAYS hear the adage of not getting married if you don’t want children, and many men just don’t have the biological clock thing going even if they like children and envision having them someday. I could probably write a book about this topic. At the end of the day, it all seems like a big game of musical chairs and it’s just a matter of whether any chairs are left when you’re ready to sit down.

    1. Aww, shucks. Just a lover of women, wine and life. Been around a bit, seen a few things. I’m no journalist. I have been quoted by some industry rags….it’s always wrong and out of context. Scary the low standards of journalism these days. Everyone is a pundit, very few journalists actually investigate stories anymore. The video reveals nothing new. Add to my above list the proliferation of hard-core pornography, much more casual and graphic sexual situations on television aimed toward younger audiences, lack of family stability, a generally lower and more crass “milieu” of society, to name but a few more reasons. Just like drugs, it’s personal choice but it’s not that simple. Larger societal forces are at work. Despite my personal affection for all carnal knowledge to which I am privy, overall I believe that the devaluation of women is a shameful and ironic result of the sexual revolution. While women are liberated to have sex more freely than in the past, men are really the primary beneficiaries. It seems that to the individual psychological effects of casual sex on women (mentioned in the video), not to mention the competitive aspect that you mentioned, the overall negative repercussions of such open promiscuity are perhaps worse than the old Scarlet letter. All in a day and age when women are empowered to reach the pinnacle in education, business and being entirely self-sufficient. Crazy that in a society where far more women than men are now earning degrees and are breadwinners, women’s self-worth and identity issues still rest primarily with the ability to land a man, which often rests on sexual issues. I suspect that the REAL problem is not that women are putting out too freely, but that they have achieved a level of self-sustinence that doesn’t really require a man for anything but partnership/love/children and there aren’t enough desirable or qualified men on the market. Meanwhile, the meatheads and dummies are getting laid to their hearts’ content not realizing their own stock is plunging rapidly.

  3. It is amazing how a lot of guys pretty much expect a bj without knowing them almost at all. WTF how does a guy feel entitled to put his dick in my mouth when I barely know anything about him? Was it always like that Emily? I’m 24 pleeze tell me it gets better.

  4. Don’t overthink it too much. Women are giving it away pretty easily these days for whatever reason so you have to stay competitive or become obsolete. It’s like the tech world, today’s blackberry is tomorrow’s old clunker. Keep moving forward, keep putting out and it will all work out.

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