The “No Reservations” Date

No, I didn’t go on a date with Anthony Bourdain, but my second date with the Ex-cop shall now be known as “No Reservations.”

I met Ex-cop on Tinder. Really handsome, 41, had great pictures of him doing a little bit of everything… traveling, running, holidays with the fam, etc.  There is a little distance between us (think Rose Bowl to the beach), but sometimes you just need to hop on the 10, sit in some traffic, and deal.  Last Saturday I was going to be on his side of town and agreed to meet him for coffee.  We met at Peets a couple blocks from his house.  It was a nice first date.  I let him talk most of the time, but it was still a good “get to know” you sesh.  He asked for my number and told me he would call soon about date #2.

He didn’t call, he texted… either way, we set up our second date for last night, 4 days after our first date.  This guy had promise!

Since he was coming from the other side of town, we planned on him picking me up at 8pm at my place.  I reco’d we make a reservation (hello? I live on the WESTSIDE) and he said no worries at all, he didn’t know the area very well, but we’ll find something close and easy. I told him I could give him a few recos, but he wasn’t interested. Ugh.

He arrived on time, but said it was nice outside and he wanted to walk to dinner from my place.  (I don’t think he wanted me to see his Kia!)  * Note, on our walk to dinner, I ask him what he did today and he tells me about filling out all of his concealed weapons permits. “Like a carpenter has tools for every job, cops have guns for every situation.”  Nice. 

There are a couple of restaurants that are within walking distance from my house. I settled on a place that has a bar, great food and is “happening” (I sound like my mom, but that’s the only word that really makes sense).  I’ve gone on a ton of dates there and love it.  We walked in and it was packed (like normal).  He was acting weird and stayed close to the front door while I ventured forward to ask the hostess about the wait.  It was 45-50 minutes.  I suggested we grab a drink at the bar and wait. He said, “NO” strongly, and headed for the door.  WHAT THE FUCK?  It’s 8pm. I’m hungry and there really isn’t anywhere else to eat

I followed him outside…
Him: There is no way I’m waiting an hour to eat.
Me: This is pretty normal for this side of town.  That’s why I reco’d we get a reservation somewhere.
Him: Well, there’s a Whole Foods up there. Why don’t we grab something there and then just eat at your place?
Me: What???? (dramatic pause) Um, okay. This is not something I normally do on a second date…

So, we head up to Whole Foods and get a couple of things from the to-go section. I’m still in shock. I look all cute and am now doing what I would normally do in sweats on a regular Wednesday night… grab something at Whole Foods, have a glass of wine, and watch TV. Did I mention he picked up some groceries while we were there too?  Seriously.

We end up back at my place 15 minutes later. I plate us some dinner as he sits on the couch. Literally, waiting for me to serve him. He gets up to go to the restroom, I down a glass of wine. He continues to talk about anything and everything.  Asks me a couple of very broad questions and 2 hours later the world’s weirdest second date is over and he leaves.

The worst part? I think he had a great time (at least he kept saying he was)! And, no. There will not be a Date #3.  Ladies, has this ever happened to you???


  1. Wow, what a major jerk. I am surprised you agreed to get something at Whole Foods and go back to your place on just the second date.

    I did have a guy claim he forgot his wallet at home on the first date. Another guy saw me for two dates and then claimed he didn’t like it because I’d had to postpone a couple of dates due to illness. He was insecure and I’m pretty sure was looking for a sugar mama. His wife was a lawyer and he had a succession of jobs.

    Anyway you look at it, Emily, you’re better off without this loser. I can’t believe he wasn’t willing to wait for an hour and have a drink, after all the suggestions you made about reservations.

  2. Guys like this are why guys like me get laid all the time! Have a drink, eat some bar nuts to tie you over. Where else do you have to be? Better question: where else would you rather be? Nowhere, dumbass. You make a date with the lovely Emily, you try to EXTEND the date, not cut it short at the freakin’ supermarket! What’s the worst that happens…you check out the DD’s for a few hours…that’s better than most conversation anyway. Play your cards right, you go (WALK/RUN) home with her or at least get an HJ in the Kia. If not this time, then definitely next time. Em, the time is rapidly approaching where I will have to figure out who you are and show you a (im)proper good time! Enough with these amateurs already.

  3. Another week another creep. Right there with ya sister. Keep telling myself when Mr. Right comes along, all these experiences will make that so much better. Did you ever re-kindle with wedding guy who wanted a relationship? Weather’s nasty in NYC and the boys aren’t much better.

  4. I don’t know what’s worse, the odd body language, the anti-social behavior or the ultimate in cheapskate-ness. A guy doesn’t have to wine me and dine me, but Whole Foods? Really?

  5. Buying groceries on a date, now that’s a new one. “Uh, sweetie, I’ll meet you over at the brick oven sandwiches – have to get some egg free/fat-free/taste free soy mayonnaise and some certified organic, sustainably grown, kiwi fruit sticks made, of course, only with free trade stevia. Be a doll and get me a sandwich and we’ll call it even for the gas I had to put in the Kia.” Surprised the cheap bastard didn’t flash the mall cop badge at the bar to get free drinks.

  6. The romantic in me wants to believe maybe this guy thought he was more comfortable with you than in a normal 2nd date situation. Even if he’s a good guy, huge red flag for having such a short fuse if he can’t even wait awhile for dinner with a hot chick! Can you imagine what he’s like if someone cuts him off or shoves him in a bar? You can do better Emily, but don’t cave to the ex-bf. Does he know he can pretty much have you whenever he wants? Oh boy, been there, done that…

  7. At least it was whole foods and not Ralph’s? 😉

    This guy sounds like 50% of guys online … CHEAP and LAZY.

    I once went out with a guy and on our 1st date told me to choose a place. I chose a place across the street from my office with a nice vibe and a good Happy Hour menu. On our date I only ordered off the HH menu to be polite … at the end of the night walking me to my car he says he had a great time, but next time he would be choosing the place since my taste was too “expensive” … There was no next time buddy, way to F it up!

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