Yes, I know married men are all over the online dating scene, but is it me or are they just getting more and more open about the fact that they are married and looking for a fuck buddy more than ever before?
A few weeks ago my girlfriend texted me and said, “OMG this married guy just asked me out on Tinder” and she sent me a screengrab. I was playing around on Tinder anyways and he popped on my screen. I, of course, swiped right to see if he was just down for anyone. Of course, we matched instantly.
Seeing that I have a blog (and a thirst to understand the crazy world we live in) I figured I would chat with the guy a little bit to get a better understanding of what he was doing on the site and what he was looking for. Please note, I WOULD NEVER KNOWINGLY HOOK UP, SLEEP WITH, OR DATE A MARRIED MAN. Here’s our convo:
John: Would you consider seeing a married man? (Obviously, he just cut and pasted this sentence to everyone he matched with.)
Me: Married? How long? And why are you looking outside your marriage?
John: No sex life at home.
Me: Does your wife know you’re on here?
Me: So, it would be cheating, no? Do you have kids? (Again, a married man is obviously a NO go for me, but I’m trying to understand why a married man would go on something like Tinder to just get laid.)
Me: You have kids???
John: Yes, I have two.
Me: Ok, so I know sex is important (I totally get it!), but is it worth ruining your family over? I’m sure you’ve matched with a decent amount of people – are there people really interested in having sex with something who’s married? I’ve had my run-ins with married men, but that was because they didn’t tell me they were married.
John: I want to be honest up front. Most women get offended.
Me: You don’t say! I’m just trying to understand what you’re looking for. Just sex? Or are you looking for a cheerleader? Companionship?
John: Nope. Just sex.
Me: Have you had any positive responses?
John: No (Good work girls!)
Me: So, if you’re just looking to get laid, why are you on something so public?
John: Not my real pic. It’s a famous person that people tell me I remind them of.
Me: Do you live in LA?
John: No. Orange County. That’s why I’m looking for something in LA.
Me: (I was turning into Dr. Phil!) Have you ever cheated on your wife before? Why not try counseling or just get a divorce?
John: We do counseling, but she doesn’t want to talk about sex. (At this point, I want this guy to hand his phone to his wife so I can tell her she needs to step it up in the bedroom since her husband is actively online looking to cheat on her.)
Me: You need to tell her how important sex is to you if you want to remain married.
John: It’s really important, but too hard to talk about.
Me: Think about it… is it easier to talk about than having to tell your kids you’re getting a divorce because Daddy decided to fuck someone he met on the internet? Sorry, just trying to be real. (BTW, I have NO idea why this guy is still talking to me, but now I feel like I need to fix him.)
John: I think we need to talk about making our marriage open.
Me: Hmmm… okay then. Are you okay with her sleeping with someone else?
John: I think so. I don’t know.
Me: Well, there you have it. A few more words of wisdom, don’t do something you’re going to regret and get off Tinder. You wouldn’t want someone treating your daughter the way you’re treating your wife.
John: I have 2 sons (yes, this guys becomes more douchey by the second).
Me: That doesn’t make a difference. BTW. You matched with 2 of my other girlfriends tonight (seriously). You’re obviously, not very picky either!
John: Are you sitting around with your gf’s all on Tinder?
Me: No. They all texted me about the creepy married guy who was looking to get laid.
John: Really? That seems weird! (Yes, we’re the weird ones!) I did click on a lot of people and I know I’m not what you’re looking for, but you are really beautiful.
Me: Thanks, but no thanks. Don’t cheat on your wife.
So, that is why one married guy is online. I get it, but I really don’t. Thoughts?