Lets Talk About Sex, Baby…

I’ve talked about condoms on here before, but recently I was having a conversation with my girlfriends the other night at dinner and they all told me I needed a blog post about safe sex.

A little background info… I’m 34. I’m been having sex for 14 years. I am the poster girl for safe sex. When I was 15 my great-uncle died from AIDS. When I was in college I TA’d a class on AIDS and its impact on society. I think those 2 things have made me be extra careful when I have sex. And yes, I’ve been on birth control since I was 16 as well (more for medical reasons than birth control).

What my deal is now… so, now that I’m 34 and I’m no longer waiting to find my ONE TRUE LOVE to do the deed, I am very verbal about STD testing and discussing it with people I’m going to have sex with. When I like someone and think I want to have sex with them I ask them when the last time was that they were tested. I also ask how many people they’ve had sex with since then and if they used protection. A lot of the time I get the “are you serious?”

My response, “YES. Do you want to have sex with me?”

Them, “Um, YES.” And there you go.

I’m not going to lie. I’ve had a lot of naysayers… “but condoms make sex horrible! They don’t feel good!” I can’t totally disagree with this, but condomless sex is something I only practice in a monogamous relationship.

For some reason, it was easier getting guys in their 20s to wear condoms (can some guy tell me why??). Was it because they were just happy to be getting laid? They were scared of getting someone pregnant?

But, I have run into A LOT of men in their 30s and 40s who don’t use condoms. This concerns me – who are these girls who don’t care where that guy’s dick has been??

Seriously. Blank stare.  WTF?

I also get the response, “don’t you trust me?” My response, “no. And I especially don’t trust that last girl you slept with who thought it was okay to not use protection. How many other guys has she done this with?


To make sure I’m always ready for anything, I always have condoms in my house. I have found that buying the variety pack helps put some guys at ease because they can choose one they like. Note: I always take them out of the box when I get home and toss it! No guy wants to see that the box has been opened and one of the condoms has been used by someone else.

I also get tested yearly and if asked, am happy to get tested more often. If I end up dating someone seriously and am ready to take our sexual relationship to the next step, I also ask to see a guy’s results.  Yes, really.  I know I sound like a crazy person, but if he really wants to rock my world condomless he needs to prove he’s ready to play.  And every time I get tested I always ask for a complete screen.  This means everything – blood work and vaginal.

What are you thoughts on safe sex? STDS and condomless sex? Does age have something to do with you?  What have your experiences been? Comment below!


  1. Sex w/condom is my standard. Problem is finishing with one of those horse-collars on. Only way to finish is with money shot. That’s waaaaaay hotter anyway so it works out.

  2. Safe sex is a requirement of mine as well until I’m in a monogamous relationship and we were both tested. Do I like wearing condoms…hell no! But I’d rather be safe than sorry. One other think I wanted to note is that when I dated women that had condoms at their house, it was great. I never questioned why she had condoms (as in how many guys does she sleep with), instead I was glad she was smart about sex. Plus, it was nice to not have to remember to carry/bring a condom over.

  3. Also bear in mind also that condoms don’t necessarily = 100% “safe” sex. Using them, you can still catch Human Papilloma Virus (HPV) /genital warts or genital herpes (HSV2) and crabs.

  4. Totally agree about guys in there 30’s not caring much about condoms. Went out with a guy last year and when we were about to hit the sheets he wanted to go “bareback” … Oh did i forget to mention he was a doctor? Apparently when it comes to sex he thinks with his other head …

  5. “For some reason, it was easier getting guys in their 20s to wear condoms (can some guy tell me why??). Was it because they were just happy to be getting laid? They were scared of getting someone pregnant?
    But, I have run into A LOT of men in their 30s and 40s who don’t use condoms. ”


    This is my life as of late. When I was in my 20’s getting a guy to use a condom wasn’t an issue, I think because everyone was so concerned about getting pregnant/diseases. However, now that I’m in my 30’s, I’m meeting all of these guys who have come out of long term relationships/failed marriages where they were “spoiled” with years of condom-less sex. I get that – but what’s scary is that they seem completely unconcerned with having condom-less sex with people they barely know AND are completely ignorant & close minded when it comes to experimenting with different condoms. Shudder.

    1. RIGHT? The thing that I don’t get is that many of these guys who don’t want to wear condoms are in the medical field! That’s why I wrote the post about Lucky Bloke condoms… it’s like I’m trying to help you out, dude. Trojan condoms suck. UGH!

    2. That’s completely mind boggling that these guys are in the medical profession! Although almost nothing surprises me anymore…most of the guys I met who were anti-condom were older & law enforcement officers, oddly enough? Maybe there’s a bit of a god complex happening…like they’re above the law, therefore above safe sex. I don’t know. The whole thing just makes me shake my head.

      PS. Love Lucky Bloke too (I’m on their social media team!) and love your blog! xo

  6. So, now you’re 36. I’ll bang you with or without a condom. And since you’re a cougar to me, you won’t have to worry about being with a limp dick 44 year old. Here’s a tip: Bring your medicals to the 1st date in case it comes up. More often than not, it leads to post-date/drinks/coffee coitus.

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