A little background info… I’m 34. I’m been having sex for 14 years. I am the poster girl for safe sex. When I was 15 my great-uncle died from AIDS. When I was in college I TA’d a class on AIDS and its impact on society. I think those 2 things have made me be extra careful when I have sex. And yes, I’ve been on birth control since I was 16 as well (more for medical reasons than birth control).
What my deal is now… so, now that I’m 34 and I’m no longer waiting to find my ONE TRUE LOVE to do the deed, I am very verbal about STD testing and discussing it with people I’m going to have sex with. When I like someone and think I want to have sex with them I ask them when the last time was that they were tested. I also ask how many people they’ve had sex with since then and if they used protection. A lot of the time I get the “are you serious?”
My response, “YES. Do you want to have sex with me?”
Them, “Um, YES.” And there you go.
I’m not going to lie. I’ve had a lot of naysayers… “but condoms make sex horrible! They don’t feel good!” I can’t totally disagree with this, but condomless sex is something I only practice in a monogamous relationship.
For some reason, it was easier getting guys in their 20s to wear condoms (can some guy tell me why??). Was it because they were just happy to be getting laid? They were scared of getting someone pregnant?
But, I have run into A LOT of men in their 30s and 40s who don’t use condoms. This concerns me – who are these girls who don’t care where that guy’s dick has been??
Seriously. Blank stare. WTF?
I also get the response, “don’t you trust me?” My response, “no. And I especially don’t trust that last girl you slept with who thought it was okay to not use protection. How many other guys has she done this with?
To make sure I’m always ready for anything, I always have condoms in my house. I have found that buying the variety pack helps put some guys at ease because they can choose one they like. Note: I always take them out of the box when I get home and toss it! No guy wants to see that the box has been opened and one of the condoms has been used by someone else.
I also get tested yearly and if asked, am happy to get tested more often. If I end up dating someone seriously and am ready to take our sexual relationship to the next step, I also ask to see a guy’s results. Yes, really. I know I sound like a crazy person, but if he really wants to rock my world condomless he needs to prove he’s ready to play. And every time I get tested I always ask for a complete screen. This means everything – blood work and vaginal.
What are you thoughts on safe sex? STDS and condomless sex? Does age have something to do with you? What have your experiences been? Comment below!