The Other Woman: Part 2 – Introducing the Stalker

Ok, to recap – I’m dating a guy I knew from high school who lives in New York (LDC). Great 1st weekend together – happy, happy. Enter… THE STALKER. At least that’s what he called her. We’ll call her Stalker Sarah. She is crazy pants, but she’s a woman scorned. I can’t totally blame her.

LDC is back from Mexico and still acting weird. A week later he finally comes clean… while he was in Mexico he started getting a ton of texts from random numbers from a girl claiming to be pregnant with his baby. Now, he did tell me about a few people he had slept with in between girlfriends and he was officially freaking out. I get it, but again boys, this is yet another reason why you should wear a condom! I mean, REALLY. (And girls, claiming to be pregnant when you’re not is NOT cool.)

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(with love! Stalker Sarah) 

I digress… LDC is freaking out because he’s now officially being stalked. At all hours of the day and night he’s getting phone calls, texts and now this crazy chick is started to reach out to A (his ex-fiancé) and B (his ex-girlfriend). Sarah is good. She has made up email addresses, Google phone numbers, the works. This is obviously not the first time she’s been pissed enough at a guy to completely fuck with his life. For weeks she even pretended to be B to see if LDC would confess his love for her over the phone (which I later found out he did).

Meanwhile, I’m back in LA and getting ready to visit LDC in New York. At this point we had been talking for 2 months and we had had this trip planned for almost 3 weeks. I couldn’t wait to get there, but was also super nervous. We had spent 3 great days together in MY LA apartment. I was now going to bring a week’s worth of clothes and crap with me and spend 6 days with him in a 250 square foot New York apartment. It was sink or swim for this relationship.

The night I got there the stalking had come to a head… Sarah had confessed to everything and told LDC who she was. This specific night she had another friend claim to be her sister and tell him that Sarah had gotten so upset about the pregnancy and him ignoring her that she tried to kill herself and was at the hospital. Seriously. So, it’s supposed to be our 1st romantic night in NYC and he’s freaking out and I’m calling around to hospitals to see if this chick was actually dying. The prank calls resumed the rest of the weekend. He even got a text on Saturday minutes after we had walked through the meatpacking district that said, “Just saw you with your latest fuck.” 1. She’s obviously not dead and 2. What a bitch! That was mean!

The emails were also ramping up – she was claiming that not only did she have an abortion, but also that he owes her money. All I was trying to do was enjoy time with my new love interest. He just kept saying, “responding to her makes it worse. We just need to ignore.” Okay then… I’m obviously not wired that way. When someone fucks with me, I take matters into my own hands immediately.

Since our relationship was really based on communication, we had a lot of interesting talks while I was there too. We talked about how hard it would be for us to be in a relationship, but that we were going to try and see what happens. He told me he wasn’t a jealous person and if I wanted to date other people in LA that was fine, but if I slept with any of them that was it for us. After that I would be “sloppy seconds” to him. (Yes, sloppy seconds. Wow.) I told him I felt the same way. If he wanted to sleep with someone else I would totally get it – I lived far away and it was going to be hard to make a relationship work, but asked if he would at least have the decency to be honest with me. If he wanted to sleep with someone else while we’re dating he needed to break things off with me. If I found out he “cheated” we were done and not just romantically – our friendship was over. DONE. Agreed upon and moving on! It’s not like I was being unrealistic… we’re in our 30s. I was also being reasonable.

The weekend was again amazing… we had great dinners out, enjoyed the first real 70 degree day in New York in 5+ months, had honeymoon relationship sex (did I mention I went back on the pill for him and it was completely effing with my body??), and leaving was torture. I was finally happy in my life, but it came with a price and so many obstacles.

I returned home on a Monday. Tuesday afternoon I got an email through the contact form on my website from LDC’s A. It was hilarious… “Please stay the way hell from my ex fiancé LDC, we are still trying to work things out. You’re a distraction for him. He has a sex problem and lying to you. You’re very unattractive and you need to back away. He doesn’t know what he wants. Stay in CA and leave us alone and know to yourself checked…he is the love of my life and I’m not willing to let him go. Stop being pathetic and likening every Instagram pic. Contact him agian and you will be in trouble. You have NO Chance!” (Please note, this is how I received it. The grammar and spelling in this! Can you even???)

Um, ok bitch. I knew it wasn’t from A – it had to be from Sarah. He told me he would deal with it. I told him that if I got one more email I was going to take matters into my own hands and it wasn’t going to end well for anyone but me.

I had just come off another amazing weekend and was pulling the wool over my own eyes on everything that was in front of me. Not only was this guy beyond geographically undesirable, but he also had a stalker, an ex-fiancé and an ex-girlfriend. Instincts told me to run, but instead I stayed put and reveled in my newfound happiness.

Next thing I know, Sarah presses charges against LDC and he has to turn himself in to the NYC police. Seriously. FUCKING LIFETIME MOVIE. Part 3 coming soon (A & B are back in the picture and more red flags hit me in the face on my 2nd trip to NYC.).


  1. This is downright scary. I can’t even wrap my head around the level of insanity going on here – and I have to assume Part 3 only gets worse. So sorry you’ve had to go through this!

    1. You know, it does read as scary, but in the moment didn’t seem like it was at all. All I wanted to do was help and be supportive of LDC. I was happy and that kinda masked everything else. Writing this all down has been very therapeutic, but I look back on this and still can’t believe this all actually happened! Part 3 is my next trip to NYC and the several more red flags I continued to ignore. Ah, love.

  2. Did this guy have more red flags than a slalom run? Perhaps. But name me ONE person who hasn’t been blinded by love and somehow missed them. We go with what is in our hearts.

    I am so sorry you had to deal with this – and I am even more sorry for the annoying cheerleader cliché I am about to drop, but… this isn’t all for naught. Your other half is out there, and you’ll kinda forget this insane rollercoaster ride you’ve been on once you find him. Sending good thoughts from the East Coast, and anxiously awaiting the crescendo of part three~

    1. Aw, thank you! Honestly, I’m in a much better place now and am proud of myself for actually following my heart for once. Part 3 is CRAZY, but part 4 is the kicker. Will try to get them up as fast as I can. They’ve been a little hard to write!

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