The Other Woman – Part 1

I am currently living in a fucking lifetime movie. Yes, the bad, but addicting kind that runs on a Saturday night with a B-list actress and her crazy lying boyfriend. This story is long*, complicated and super twisted, so sit back and take it all in. *Like I said, it’s LONG so it’ll be broken up into a few installments that will be posted weekly. Writing this in one sitting is just emotionally too tolling right now.  —————————- And just when you think you’ve experienced it all, something blindsides you like never before. Many of you know that I started …

For The Love of Lube!

If you follow me on Twitter you know that I have a new love… and it goes by the name of Lube. Yes, LUBE. As you guys know, I’m a safety girl all the way. Recently I started following Lucky Bloke: Condoms (@TheLuckyBloke) on Twitter and they have changed my sex life! In past posts I’ve written that I’m a fan of lube, but I had no idea what was really out there.  The last few years I had used a brand that you can pick up at your nearest drugstore, but let me tell you… Lucky Bloke’s lube and condom …

Setting Up Your Online Date… Yes or No?

The last few dates I’ve been on haven’t been horrible, but also haven’t been great. I think if you’ve been dating as long as I have you can tell after an hour or so with someone if you want to spend more time with them AND if you have any physical chemistry. The last date I went on was a couple of weeks ago.  REALLY nice guy. He’s a furniture designer, 40, owns a home, totally has his shit together and is engaging, but after 90 minutes with him I felt like I was either on a new business meeting …

2 Guys, 1 Girl… the latest online dating trend?

Yes, I suppose I should be blogging about Valentine’s Day right now, but I’m not celebrating it, so I don’t give a crap about the holiday. Instead, I thought I would dive into this interesting new trend I’m running in to in online dating. The trend… 2 guys looking for a girlfriend to share.  Take that in for a minute… A girlfriend. To. Share. Now, because I always want to be informed and I’m the most curious (some might say nosey!), person in the world, I have, of course, wanted to learn more.  But, the thing is, this isn’t my …

The “No Reservations” Date

No, I didn’t go on a date with Anthony Bourdain, but my second date with the Ex-cop shall now be known as “No Reservations.” I met Ex-cop on Tinder. Really handsome, 41, had great pictures of him doing a little bit of everything… traveling, running, holidays with the fam, etc.  There is a little distance between us (think Rose Bowl to the beach), but sometimes you just need to hop on the 10, sit in some traffic, and deal.  Last Saturday I was going to be on his side of town and agreed to meet him for coffee.  We met …

The Unhappiest of Happy Hours!

If you follow me on Twitter you know that I started the year off sick. I got that cold that everyone has which turned into pneumonia and I am just now finally able to drink again! And to me, the ability to drink again means I have the ability to date again! In these weeks off from my normal social life I hit up the dating sites like it was my job. I was on the couch and BORED. I started off the year solo and sick which means that it could only get better! Right? I was wrong. I …

Wanna “Review” Your Date? There’s an App for That!

I recently read a couple of articles about a new(ish) app called Lulu.  I’m going to tell you a little about how it works and interject my thoughts throughout. Per the site: ” We created Lulu to unleash the value of girl talk and to empower girls to make smarter decisions on topics ranging from relationships to beauty and health.” Me: Um, no. This line is bullshit. All this site does is allow girls to rate guys they have dated, hooked up with, are crushing on, or are friends with. I have yet to find a place on there where I …

My Life On Tinder – Profile FAILS

It all started with a Star Wars fan/ Christmas Elf and has led to the launch of my first tumblr called My Life on Tinder. (I’m evolving people!) Check out it here.   Have you seen a major Tinder profile fail?  Email it to me at mylifeonmatch@gmail.com! I’ll give you a twitter shout out and credit on the blog. Here are a couple of my favorite Tinder profile fails so far… No, no thank you.  I’m not gonna lie, David looks like a good time.  All my bff gay guys think so too 🙂  

The Guy Who Didn’t Think He Was Bi

WHY? WHY does shit like this keep happening to me? I just want to find a normal guy to date, fall in love with, marry and have babies with. Is that too much to ask? Apparently, yes. Recently I was matched up with a cute brunette on Tinder. His profile said he was 33 and newly single. We’ll call him BG for BI GUY. Here’s our conversation: Me: Happy Sunday! Do anything fun this weekend? BG: Crazy Saturday, lazy Sunday. You? Chat, chat, chat. Me: So, how’s Tinder treating you so far? BG: Just got it. Woke up this morning …

Online Dating Gems – OkCupid Edition

I’ve written a couple posts about hilarious, rude, and weird messages I have gotten on online dating sites.  These gems come from OkCupid.  I can’t… really. How do I even respond to these? This is totally what I look like every time I get a message. Guy 1: “You are a great kisser and have a mouth like a trucker. That’s enough for me. What two wishes can I grant you?” Yes, I do say that I swear a lot and that people have said I’m a good kisser on my profile, but really? WTF? Guy 2: “Hi.. Nice profile. …

Texting and Dating… OVER IT!

If you follow me on Twitter (my social media lifeline @MyLifeOnMatch), you know that I’m over texting and dating.   A few things to get off my chest… 1. Guys, don’t send a “Thanks for the fun date! Can’t wait to do it again!” text unless you mean it.  Otherwise, that just makes you an asshole when you think you’re being a nice guy. Just don’t send anything at all and we’ll get the idea pretty damn quick that you weren’t into us. 2. If you’re dating someone (more than one date) and they text you, fucking reply. Otherwise we …

Your Profile is Great! Sorry No One Wants to Date You!

If you follow me on twitter, you’ve seen my tweets about eHarmony.  I’ve always been a fan of the site.  They have great customer service, an good interface, great PR people, etc. but I have NEVER had any luck with them.  I decided to give them one last try when a good girlfriend of mine who had never online dated before went on eHarmony, got matched on the second day with a cute guy (and her only online date ever) and married him 5 months later. So, I joined with a 6-month subscription hoping for the best.  Over the last …