Happy holiday weekend!

A little Valentine’s Day love from LOVEFiLM.  This cracks me up…

And, don’t forget that tomorrow is National Singles Awareness.  Every year on February 15, those who didn’t get to celebrate Valentine’s day can celebrate Singles Awareness Day.  In case you need further clarification, Singles Awareness Day is for those who are unattached and without a significant other – duh!

Valentine’s Day, celebrates love and romance for those  currently in a relationship. But, as you know, as a fellow singleton, we’re a little left out. Valentine’s Day can be a depressing day. So, the day after Valentine’s Day is for us.

On Singles Awareness day:

• Singles get together. It’s a chance to meet.
• Singles give each other gifts (Check out my guide of what to buy your single friends here!).
• You can celebrate and enjoy the fact that you are unattached.

I’ll be hitting the town with 6 of my nearest and dearest girlfriends (yes, I might live tweet!).  What will you be doing tomorrow?

Don’t forget I’m giving away a necklace to some lucky singelton!  Comment away on this blog to win!

I’m leaving you with this song… I’m single and that’s how I want to be!

I’ve taken care of all the people in a relationship… what to get your guy and girl, now here are the gifts to get your single girlfriends to let them know someone loves them!

All the single ladies? All the single ladies…

Single ladies do not like to be left out of this day of love just to be reminded that we don’t have someone to spend it with.  So get your single girlfriends something funny and sweet that will remind them their friends love them too.

1.  Golden horseshoe – year of luck in love
I LOVE THIS!  What a great way to remind my single friends this year that this is their year to be lucky in love.

Up or down? It’s an age-old debate…  Some think it should point down, so the luck pours out for you. Others think it should point up, to keep the luck inside. Hand painted gold horseshoe with black grosgrain ribbon. Boxed in black gift box filled with natural straw. Box measures 4 x 5.5 – $32

2. Dear John scarf
Wear it with a smile! Dear John, You’re mister wrong…

This scarf is perfect for the girl who has everything, but Mr. Right in her life.   Not cheap, but it’s something she’ll have forever.  $165

3. Anti-Valentine’s Day card
We all love cards and what single girlfriend wouldn’t love this one?   $4 + a little bit of love

4. Do not forget to love yourself poster.
A simple reminder, really. But one that everyone needs every once in a while.  Every order will receive an 8×10 dated, signed and numbered print processed on archival quality cotton rag paper. (frame not included) $9

5. Porn for women
When all else fails, turn to the porn.  Porn for Women  – prepare to enter a fantasy world ladies!

A world where clothes get folded just so, delicious dinners await, and flatulence is just not that funny. Give the fairer sex what they really want beautiful PG photos of hunky men cooking, listening, asking for directions, accompanied by steamy captions: “I love a clean house!” or “As long as I have two legs to walk on, you’ll never take out the trash.” Now this is porn that will leave women begging for more!

$6-8.  Available on the Kindle and in paperback.

BONUS and GIVEAWAY!  The awesome people over at GemsAround have offered to make one single lady a little happier this week with their Sterling Silver Flat Back Shaped Hershey’s “Kiss” Pendant (that retails for $99!).  Just leave a positive comment below about why it’s cool to be single on Valentine’s Day and you can be entered to win.  A winner will be chosen by random by noon pst Wednesday, February 15 – National Single Awareness Day.  Remember, guys and girls – don’t get down about being single on February 14 – I’m not!  We’re all in this together and I’ll be cheersing to you tomorrow night.  (Guys, you can enter to win too and  then have a gift ready to go when you meet that special someone!  Or… you can just hold on to it until Mother’s day!)

So, I laid it out there for the girls.  Guys, now’s your chance to do some shopping for your ladies!

TOP FIVE GIFTS FOR HER:

1. Lingerie.  She’s sexy and she knows it!
Some women love lingerie and some hate it.  Do her a favor and get her something that is both sexy and something she’ll feel great in.  My reco?  The baby doll.  Makes the boobs look awesome and is flowy over the rest of her.   Most come as a set with matching undies.

If your valentine is a little sportier (and has a sense of humor!) go with something like this… super comfy and can be worn year round.   DON’T forget to get some cute matching undies too!   And… please don’t call them panties when we open them!  $19.50

2.  A book of Love
When you can’t say it yourself, buy the book instead!  Every girl loves the scene in Sex and the City movie when Carrie finally opens the emails from Mr. Big that are all famous letters.   You be the nice side of Mr. Big and your Valentine can be Carrie (some Jimmy Choos would rock too).

Show your Valentine you care by giving her this book with your favorite sonnet earmarked. $18.95

3. Every girl loves flowers! 
It’s a shame men don’t give them more often.  “Just because” flowers are the best. Red roses can get a little tired, so go out of the box and get something different, but still beautiful like these…

Just stay away from the carnations and she’ll consider it a job well done.  $39-$99

4. DVD of Princess Bride
The greatest love story of all time!!  Every girl loves the Princess Bride and dreams of her boyfriend saying, “as you wish!” just once.

Only $8 on amazon.  Just don’t forget the “as you wish” line!

5. LOVE bracelet
Sometimes you just can’t say how you feel and when that’s the case do it with this bracelet from Blee Inara. (Again, make sure it’s in a box that doesn’t make it look like a ring!)  Gold plated and available in rose and yellow gold – $87.50

BONUS! Heartfelt note
Most of the time, all us girls really need and want is just a nice note telling us how you really feel.  Be honest and it will definitely pay off for only $4!

Don’t worry… I didn’t forget all my single friends!  One more gift guide coming up!

Valentine’s Day is almost here, so I put together a gift guide that includes a little something for everyone.   Here are my top five gifts for the guys and girls out there who think dinner and sex isn’t enough of a gift on Valentine’s Day!  I have also included the top five gifts for your single girlfriends.  Don’t leave them out… everyone else does.  (Click on the below pictures for links to the products.)

TOP 5 GIFTS FOR GUYS:

* Please note, if you JUST started dating him, a night out together is gift enough.  Just to be safe, bring a nice card (and be willing to put out a little or more if you’re that kind of girl).   This card says it all…

A few years ago, I started dating a guy a few weeks before Valentine’s Day.  My gift to him was this ecard on Valentine’s Day morning.   You can guess what I gave to him that night.  This was before sexting became cool.

1. Meat for your man! Mail order BBQ
I’m a big fan of getting a lot of bang for your buck, so I think this is the perfect Valentine’s Day gift that doubles as dinner!  They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach… no one ever said you had to actually make the meal that will melt his heart!  For $41, this package has all that and a little more, just to show you care.

It includes:
▪       2 racks of our Memphis style baby back ribs
▪       1 bottle of Love Me Tender Memphis BBQ Sauce
▪       1 lb of our slow and smokey baked beans
▪       2 Whoopie Pies

2. Microbrews!
If you’re feeling really generous, throw in a 6 pack of your man’s favorite beer and a gift certificate to the beer of the month club and you’ll be known by his friends as the best girlfriend/wife ever!

$36.95 per month.  Each month includes:

• 12 bottles of microbrewed beer featuring four varieties
• Guaranteed brewed fresh – delivered to your home or office
• Free shipping Every Month
• 100% satisfaction guarantee

3.  iPad wireless keyboard case

Is your guy into gadgets?  He’ll love this!  For $99, iPad case has built-in wireless keyboard that lets you tap out emails, blog entries or online posts at laptop speed, while still accessing built-in cameras and ports. The fold-up design even holds your iPad 2 tablet at a perfect viewing angle for reading, browsing or watching movies.

4. Professional shave! Pampering for him, smooth for you!

The Art of Shaving is the perfect gift to give and get.  For under $40, you can send your man to get a traditional shave. This relaxing escape for your honey begins with a hot towel treatment. His skin is then prepared with a protective layer of Pre-Shave Oil and lathered with hot Shaving Cream. Master Barbers use a traditional Straight Razor with precision and mastery to shave with the grain first, and then re-lather and shave once more against the grain for closeness. A cold towel infused with Lavender Essential Oil provides a soothing and relaxing experience. They’ll top your guy off with their After Shave Balm to hydrate and sooth his skin.  Now, it’s time to make out.

5.  Tickets to his favorite sporting event! (prices range)

Make him the Leo of his home team!  It’s basketball season and every town has a team.  Get a pair of tickets and make a night out of it.

JEWERLY NOTE:  If you’ve been dating for a while and have EVER discussed marriage DO NOT GIVE YOUR VALENTINE JEWELRY! All jewelry comes in a little box and even if it is a gorgeous pair of diamond earrings she’s going to be bummed it’s not a ring (because for just a few minutes, she thought you were going to propose).  Be original and leave Valentine’s Day to the amateurs.  You don’t want to end up like the guy did on last week’s Grey’s Anatomy!  (Who else was hysterically crying at the necklace scene?)

Guys, my gift guide for the ladies will be in up a few soon!

Skip to the end for the update!

This weekend I got an email from someone that I have to share with you… it was just too bizarre and too funny. He compared himself to George Clooney because they were both 49.  Yes, seriously.  Lets set the stage – Me: 32-year-old female, 5’5, cute, independent, successful.  Him: 49 year-old male, hairy, 5’4, persistent.  (PS. How freaking hot is this picture of George? Yum!)

Him: Sarcastic! I like it and think we would keep each other on our toes.  I like to hike near (where you live).  Lets hike sometime. Blah, blah, blah.  My name is Tiny Tot.

Me: Hi Tiny Tot.  Thanks so much for reaching out.  I checked out your profile and don’t think we’re a match (age, distance, etc.), but wish you the best of luck in your search and have a great weekend.  I’m sure there’s a great girl out there for you! (And yes, I really do send these emails.  I believe everyone deserves a response if they have the balls to send an email in the first place.) 

Him: Thank you for the response. I appreciate it. Something I don’t understand though is that most people have on their profile in the I’m looking for category “friendships or activity partners.” I find that if you don’t meet the right criteria, they are not interested. I don’t get it. I just asked if you would enjoy hiking.  As far as the age thing here is the deal. I find that most are hypocritical. I mean me and George Clooney are the same age. If George Clooney ask you out would you say no? If you would say no then you are the exception and not the rule. Just trying to make a point here.  I’m not being critical (I call bullshit on that), I am just trying to learn if I am wrong in my thinking or if I am correct. Your input would be helpful.

Me: Hi Tiny Tot,  You are not George Clooney (that’s all I’m going to say without getting specific). I’m looking for someone who is taller (I’m 5’8 with heals on) and between 32-39. I will have to change my profile to read something different as I have enough friends and activity partners. I’m looking for a mate.   Again, best of luck in your search!

Him: That is my point. It’s not the age, so why don’t women just be truthful about it. It’s who you are and what you have to offer. The age thing is a cop out. You just made my point for me with your first sentence.

Me: Ok, Tiny Tot.  I’m going to get real now. (At this point, I’m getting annoyed that he is NOT getting the message.) Let me be clear… and now very honest. I would go out with George Clooney – he is handsome, rich, tall, funny, and famous. You are not handsome, tall or famous. I would be able to tell my kids one day that I went out with George Clooney.  They could care less that I went out with you. Now, do I want to marry George Clooney?  No. I want to marry someone I can have and raise kids with. George doesn’t want that. As for the age thing, you are also closer to my parents age than mine. Again, as I have mentioned before, something I’m not interested in.  So, to be very clear… when it comes to dating you we are not a match on three major things which are deal breakers for me – AGE, LOOKS and PERSONALITY.  You and George Clooney are apples and oranges. It would be like comparing me and Heidi Klum. I’m sorry that you continue to run into the age problem – maybe you should reach out to women closer to your age?  I emailed you back trying to be polite and didn’t have to.  Again, best of luck in your search and I hope this explanation clears some things up.

Him: Good to hear your honesty. That’s what I was after. This has to do with being the age cop out thing that I run into. As it so happens I have no problem dating women that are younger than YOU. I just don’t seem to get the one I want. When I do come across one that I want then yes it does get frustrating when they hit me with the age thing. I did find it rather troubling that you basically said I ugly. A bit uncalled for, but such is life. I was only making a point which you confirmed.

Yes. This can be online dating.  Fun, huh?

UPDATE: Tiny Tot emailed me AGAIN yesterday.  Since I went back to my inbox to get the emails he sent me, it accidentally went to his profile.  Here’s what he wrote:

Tiny Tot: wow, you visited me. I am shocked. How are you lovely? I mean that sincerely. Not being a smart ass.

Me: That was strictly by accident.  I was trying to delete your emails from my inbox.  Sorry!

Good God.

For those of you who didn’t live under a rock in the early 2000′s, do you remember Ally McBeal?  Ally’s therapist told her to have a theme song… I thought it was pretty cool and for the last few years have chosen a theme song to get me through each month. Sometimes they’re happy, other times they’re inspirational and sometimes they’re just fun.  This year I decided to post my “song of the month” at the beginning of each month so we can all rock out together.

My January theme song was all about doing some amazing things in 2012… Don’t you want to rock out to this song every morning? I do.

For those of you who follow me on Twitter you know that I went out with a guy named Marty last week… as you all aptly named him… McFly.

I’ve told you all that this is the year I’m going rogue.  I’m going off my “list“ to see if maybe my type isn’t really “my type.”

So, a guy that favorited me months ago on Match.com was persistent enough to ask me out again and I was open enough in 2012 to say yes. How off my list was he, you ask?  VERY.  I prefer tall(er)… he was 5’7.  I’m 5’7 with my everyday heals on.  I prefer close to my age… He was 8 years older than me.  I prefer dark hair… he was somewhere between dirty blonde and grey.  I prefer athletic… he was “a few extra pounds.” Maybe I went a little too rogue, but I’m trying!

* Please note, my date was not nearly as cute as Mr. Michael J. Fox!  But, McFly was awkward in these movies and on my date!

In our email exchange I asked is he wanted to get a glass of wine somewhere when we met up.  His response, “I’m allergic to wine.” Oh my…

So, we ended up meeting up a dive bar on the west side.  There were a few things I liked and a few things I hated about this date.

Likes: cute place – even though very divy, happy hour prices, good lighting (yes, it was after work so I didn’t have to worry about how my post day face looked in the light!), the conversation about online dating got very interesting!

Dislikes: no parking – NONE – so I had to park on the street, walk down an alley and pray for my safety.  We also sat in a room decorated by scary dolls.  It was like being in a horror movie.

(NOTE: Boys, when planning a date, please keep parking into consideration! I had so much parking rage that by the time I sat down I NEEDED that cocktail!)

McFly was a lot like his character… a little socially inept, sweet, but awkward and really needed some help in the conversation portion of our date.  20 minutes in I felt like I was an HR person interviewing a new intern.  Finally, our conversation began to flow once we realized we went to the same college, but then it was a lot of, “When I was your age…”

All and all, it was a fine “date” and it got very interesting when we dove into the ins and outs of Match.com.  He had no idea that guys take pictures of themselves with their shirts off in their bathroom mirrors (even though they shouldn’t) and I had no idea girls do the same thing!  Now, I’m thinking I must look like effin’ PollyAnna on my profile!  

The night ended when he walked me to my car and I told him I thought he should check out eharmony and see if maybe their matching algorithm could find him someone better than me.  Yes. Seriously.

The search continues…

As I mentioned in my last entry, 2011 ended with several ex-boyfriends getting engaged.  Well, 2012 is here and has already made me say “come on!” several times in a mere two weeks.

* Side note: To put it bluntly, I have finally come to the conclusion that I need to start really seeing what is available to me in the dating world and putting myself out there.  I have convinced myself that I will be pleasantly surprised.

Update 1: Since I’ve decided to put it out there (and have recently seen the movie What’s Your Number? I got inspired to give some people I may have blown off a second look).   Back story… when I was in college, my male cousin and I went to the same school and he scared all of his friends into not dating me.  They were all athletes and hot.  Finally, one of them, who was physically way bigger than my cousin, finally grew some balls and asked me out my senior year.  Cute guy, super nice, but no real spark.  Over the last 10 years we’ve remained good friends… drinks every so often, and I even stayed in touch when he went to work abroad.  We had plans to go out the first week of January and I thought I’d finally put it out there and see if we could give this a go. Yes, I told you guys I was getting BOLD.  We had a plan to get together for happy hour last Friday.  Our texts went something like this.

Him: Sorry, can’t do Friday anymore.

Me: Ok, no big deal – when works?

Him: Not sure… busy next weekend.  Girl I’m dating is coming into town.

Me: That’s new news!  So much for my chance with ya!

Him:  Yay, I’m dating GFC (Girl from college – yes, someone I know and used to hang out with.  We’re now fb friends).  Come on, Emily.  You were never interested in me.

Me: You never made a move and why else would I have stayed in touch with you for the last 10 years?

Him: Well, that sucks. Gotta run… headed out.

Me: Seriously?

So, I threw it out there and that is what I got back.  Yes, this all should not have gone down via text message, but I was pissed, hurt and my ego was a little bruised.

Update #2 – The Sexter!  

Quick recap – the Sexter and I used to sext.  That’s it.  Nothing physical ever happened.  The sexting ended when he started dating a big mouth blonde and got engaged a few months later.  In the last few months he has moved in with her (now lives 6 blocks from my house in one city) and has also moved his office which is now across the street from mine (in a different city).  How do I know this you ask?  He told me and feels the need to message me EVERY time I’m on Facebook. (Which is all the time because I work in pr and social media marketing).  So, for now, the game plan is IGNORE and we’ll see what happens.  (Oh crap… he just FB messegnered me and said he is stopping by! WHY???) But, I feel so sorry for this poor girl he is marrying!  I think emotional infidelity is almost as bad as the physical kind and I hate to be any part of it.  Ugh.

So, that’s the start to my year… On a good note, I have a date tonight (I sneak to the potty and live tweet during my dates – are you following me? @MyLifeOnMatch), one this weekend and maybe I’ll even ask one of those hot guys at the gym out this year (In LA it’s just so hard to tell which ones are gay and which ones are straight let alone who is single!).  I’m going WILD.  I’m ready to put myself out there and see who’s willing to grab!

Happy 2012! A lot happened at the end of 2011 and I wanted to catch you up.  If you have been following me on twitter you know I suffered a few blows in December.  (My blog about the beginning of 2012 – it’s also been insane! will be up soon.)

Within 2 weeks (seriously, 2 weeks), my ex-boyfriend from college got engaged (he’s 32, she’s 24!), my best guy friend got engaged (he’s 33, she’s 27), a good guy friend who I used to make out  and always wanted to try something with got engaged (he’s 33, she’s 27) and my ex-boyfriend, aka McDouche (here’s a little more background on him) and the longest relationship I’ve ever had, got engaged on New Year’s Eve (he’s 37, she looks 45).

Now, 3 out of 4 of them have been dating for years and I sure some were handed some ultimatums, but these were the guys where there was NO way they were get married before me.

Ex-boyfriend from college.  Love him dearly, but we didn’t work out for a reason.  I love Los Angeles.  I was born and raised here.  He was born and raised on a cattle farm and wanted a wife who could be a teacher and doesn’t mind driving 90 mins to see a movie.  If I’m going to be in the car for 90 mins, it better be in traffic on the 405 or making my way to the desert for a long weekend.  The best part?  His 24-year-old fiance is a teacher (yes, she has a whole year of experience under her belt!), lives in a different state and they dated 4 months (and still don’t live in the same city) before they got engaged.  Out of all of the guys that got engaged, I’m betting on this one to actually last.  Who is he going to find to fuck in a town of 800 people?  PS. She looks just like me.

The good guy friends were just more of a blow to my ego.  The fact that they’re my age and marrying girls 5 years under than me makes me feel like I have missed my window.  Ladies?  You with me?

The ex-boyfriend story is a good one.  He told everyone he was engaged by posting a picture of her hand and her mall ring on Facebook on New Year’s Eve.  Yes, in about 1 hour I had been called by 4 of my friends and my sisters texted a friend I was with because they didn’t want to be the ones to tell me.  Note to boys… DO NOT DO THIS unless your ring is something to brag about.  If the first thing that comes to mind is “Every kiss begins with Kay” then (no offense, but…) DON’T POST. Here’s the thing… engagement rings don’t have to be big and flashy, but they should be meaningful and pretty.  If you can’t afford a rock, then go to the antique store and get an amazing sapphire ring or even 1 or 2 dainty diamond vintage-looking bands.  Thoughtfulness counts so much more than some lame ring you can see in holiday and Valentine’s Day commercials from Ben Bridge.

Here’s how to rock a few vintage bands for an alternative look that will make any friend jealous!

So…. I’m leaving that all in 2011.  Updates from 2012 coming soon!  To wet your whistle… I’ve been rejected by a friend that I thought I would give a try (I’m all about putting myself out there in 2012!), am being fb stalked by the sexter (who is now also engaged) and went out with someone around Thanksgiving who texts every few weeks, but hasn’t asked me out again, just to keep me on my toes.  FUN TIMES.